The Everlark Family: Book 1

40 - Worked Out

I awoke to coldness that morning; Peeta wasn't to be found in the bedroom, not even the closet. I feared that he wasn't in the house, which I discovered was true. 
My tailbone throbbed as I gingerly rolled out of bed. Damn, what happened last night?  I shielded my eyes as the bright morning light shone on my dazed face.
I tiptoed past Willow and Rye's bedroom as I made my way to the kitchen. "Peeta?" I called. No response. Great.  "Peeta? Hello?"
He was nowhere to be found in the kitchen; a rare sight. Wonderful. 

The only place I hadn't checked was outside. "Peeta, are you out here?" I called out as I opened the door. Nervous energy filled my veins as I was granted no response. Not until I heard the rustling of bushes and the heavy footsteps of who could only be Peeta. 
"Peeta," I sighed in relief, "I was looking for you. Are you okay?"
 He never met my eyes as he spoke, walking closer to me. His shoulders were drooped. "I need to leave, Katniss."
Breath caught in my throat. "W-what? What are you talking about?"
Peeta looked up at me, though his eyes were haunted. "Just for now, not forever. I need to relax a little. I couldn't get any sleep last night. . . Worst part is, you can't comfort me, and that scares me most."

I shook my head, though I knew the truth. "Peeta, what about our children?"
His eyes watered, but his voice never faltered. "They have you, and you're good enough for them."
"But I--"
Peeta's eyes drifted downwards, "Do you remember when I told you that I had been trying to controlling my flashbacks?"
"Yeah."
"Well, the one I had last night defied what I thought I could do. I've never had one that bad in years. And I'm scared they'll just keep getting worse." 

It all felt like a dream--a nightmare, really. 
"We promised each other," my voice began to involuntarily quiver, "that when we would go through these scenarios, we would overcome them, for Willow and Rye's sake."
Peeta nodded solemnly. "I know, but I can't hurt you again. I don't want to hurt them."  
"Okay." I sucked in a deep breath suddenly, nodding my head against my will. 
I let Peeta go just like that. It was best for him, I guessed, but it still hurt.  
Willow and Rye would be up any second now, and that meant I had to conceal my tears, and create a story as to why Peeta had left without telling them goodbye. 

"Good morning," I said to the both of them as they walked out of their rooms together.  
"Morning!" Rye croaked out.  
"Can Daddy make us French toast today?" Willow asked.
"Oh, yes, please!" Rye added along.  
Just pretend, Katniss. "He's at work." I replied.
Willow furrowed her eyebrows. "But the bakery isn't open on Sundays."
Shit. "Right. Well, he went to clean up his office."

Willow had a hard time buying it. So I had to make a clever distraction. "Who's hungry?"
They both jumped at that offer.
 "But Dad always makes breakfast. You can't cook." Rye squinted at me as I began to toast slices of bread.  
Sometimes Rye was a little more direct than I admired. "Yes, but I'll try."
Rye raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Just don't burn the bread." 

To Rye's thankfulness, I didn't burn anything. They both devoured their toast and scrambled eggs, which was more mush than scramble. 
Once they were finished, they rushed outside like birds fleeing from their cage. 
I watched from the kitchen window as they frolicked and cavorted in the lush verdure.
Careless and as free as a mockingjay. Blissfully unaware. Like how I once was, until I realized just how tormenting life can be.
"Hi, Mommy." Willow's small voice pierced through my thoughts. 
I turned to face her and matched her smile, "Hello, Will."

Without saying a thing, she ran up to me, hugging my thighs tightly. I chuckled in surprise, feeling hope flood back to my heart. It was as if Peeta were hugging me in a way. Then Willow released me. "I just thought you needed a hug." 
I ran the tips of my fingers in her soft hair. "You thought right, Hun. I needed that."
"I'm glad. Whenever you need to talk, you can come to me." 
Suddenly Rye walked in to meet us. His face was flushed pink from running. "Wanna come out to the meadow with us?"
I genuine smile was brought to my face. "Sure, I'd love to." 

Rye showed me to their favorite spot in the meadow. A peaceful breeze blew our hair and ruffled our clothes. I grinned as I watched them compete on who had a better cartwheel, or who could jump-rope the fastest. Enjoying the nostalgia of Prim and I when we were their age. We were safe. They are safe. Safe to be happy. Safe to be free. Safe to live.
But every time I tried to focus on one topic, the thought of Peeta would enter into my mind. I could only hope that we would work this out soon. 

A couple hours passed since the children and I were out in the meadow. Now they were begging me for lunch, so I reluctantly put on my invisible chef hat and tried to make a ham sandwich. It didn't quite resemble what Peeta could've done, but at least it was edible despite what it looked like.
After that they quickly sprang into action, going back into the meadow to build forts.
I plopped down onto the sofa and rested my head. I hoped Peeta would come back before the kids got hungry again. I sighed, wondering what and where Peeta was. Come back already. Please.

A sudden, light knock on the front door perked my instincts.
"It's me, Katniss."
Though that statement was muffled from the other side of the door, I still heard it clearly. That voice belonged to Peeta. Thank God!
I sprang up, running to the door, and swinging it open impatiently. "Peeta! Y-you're here."
He wrapped both arms around me and pulled me in closely, but not too closely; a cautious closeness.
"Are you okay, Peeta?"
He replied with a small nod. "I'm controlling it. I'm so sorry Katniss."

"Oh, Peeta, don't be. It's alright. That wasn't you last night. I know it."
Peeta shook his head; still just as downcast. "Well, I still hurt you. Regardless of it not being me. Technically I still did it."
"The bruises will heal--I could care less about that. I'm just so relieved to see you. . . The children miss their chef."
Peeta met my eyes, chuckling. "You cooked? Wow. They hated it didn't they?"
I swatted at him, but I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, especially Rye."
The slight smile on Peeta's face faded. "What did you tell them? About me leaving."
"You had to clean your desk."
Peeta raised his eyebrows. "Not bad, actually."