Sinbound: Armageddon

Part 10

-------AYCA'S POV-------

Time is... different when you're not conscious. I feel somewhere in between dead and alive. I hear voices sometimes, they're comforting. It's usually Loki reading to me. All these stories, all these fairytales and history of Asgard. I don't know if it's real or in my head, but I don't mind being in purgatory if I still get to hear his voice.

Sometimes I get flashbacks, though. To that moment where I felt the blade pierce through my body, and the agony in Loki's voice as he's coming to me too late. I wish those would stop. It feels like I'm back in that hell hole and Thanos is forcing me to kill him over and over again but this time, I die and I hear him at that moment over and over again. Both are just as painful.

I'll also hear Thor, and rarely I'll hear Sif. We've become really great friends, and I admire her loyalty to Asgard.

I wish I could understand where I am. I can't see anything most of the time, it's just black. I can't even tell if I'm opening my eyes or not. I hope I'm not burred, but then again the Norse tradition is cremation. That wouldn't go well if I am in fact still tied to my body somehow.

One day, I feel immense pressure all over my body. This doesn't usually happen, especially since I'm not in a flashback loop. I feel it under my knees and around my back as if I'm being carried somewhere. I can't respond, so I only hope they're not finally burying me. I hear crashing, thudding, but everything is muffled. I wish I knew what was going on, I wish I could react. I begin to feel paranoid, like something bad is happening. I just want to hear Loki reading to me again. That's the closest to Heaven I'll ever get.

I'm finally set down and I hear Sif's voice, thank god. Someone familiar. I can smell something faint, like an old medicine cabinet but with herbs and different elements. This is so confusing, I wish I could just wake up or die already.

I hear another crash, as if someone kicks in a door. It's Loki, I hear the distressed tone of his voice. Loki, my darling, I'm here! I just wish I could tell him that I'm here.

Then, I see gold glittering against my eyelids. That's the first time I've actually seen something since... I feel tingling all over my body, then my blood boils. Oh no, I better not be changing. Oh god, what if the demon in me takes over the human?

I feel free all of a sudden, like I could move if I tried hard enough. The gold turns to red... there goes my vision. I hear someone shush Loki, then place a thumb to my forehead. A vision comes into my head of a woman who looks like a Norse tarot card character standing over me in a dark room. A pulse beats loudly in my ear, then under my chest in my heart. Holy shit, it hurts. The woman places a hand over my heart as if she's about to pull it out of my chest. I feel hot, like I'm on fire. It almost feels... good?

She holds this position for a moment, letting my body pulse and throb under the pressure of whatever she's doing. I feel like I'm falling, then I hit the table I'm on hard.

My eyes shoot open and I take in a deep, aggressive, and urgent breath. "Holy shit!" I yell in a hoarse voice, barely making sense.

"Ayça!" Loki exclaims as he nearly throws himself on me.

"Give her some space, for god's sake!" Sif says, trying to pull Loki off of me. I hug him in tighter, breathing him in. I start crying and he sooths me by rubbing my back.

"Loki I was so scared..." I say, muffled into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I should have come sooner." He admits.

"No, no it's not your fault. I shouldn't have turned my back on her." We pull away slightly from each other and I look into his eyes. Oh, those eyes. I get lost in them every time, and he gets lost in mine.

I look past him at Sif, who comes to my other side to hold my hand.

"it's good to see you, Sif."

"And you, Ayça. Welcome back." I smile at her through teary eyes, then at the woman who did the ritual.

"Who are you?" I ask her.

"I'm Eira. My mother taught me that. I hope it treats you well." She says in a smooth, soothing voice.

"What does?" I ask, furrowing my brow.

"True immortality."

"You're kidding!" I say in disbelief. I look to Loki for confirmation, and he nods wisely. 'You mean I... wait, did I die?" I ask, looking between the three of them. They give each other concerned looks, but don't answer.

"About that..." Loki says cautiously.

"Well, spit it out!" I say, getting frustrated. Sif backs away suddenly, her hand on her sword that's kept in a belt around her waist. Loki doesn't move from his seat on the edge of the table.

"Ayça, please listen to me." He says, cupping my face with his hands.

"I'm listening...?"

"There was a part of you that died, yes. But a part of you that did not. The only way to save you was to bring forward that part, even though it was a risk. I assure you that you are alive, well, and-"

'What are you talking about?" I ask, reaching for his hand that's on my face when I notice my fingertips. They're black and smudged like I rubbed them in soot. "What the hell?"

"Now, hang on just a minute..." He says fiercely, finally standing and holding out his hands cautiously.

I rise to my feet and rush around the room to find some sort of mirror. Loki tries to catch me but I'm quick and find one. He sighs, defeated as I look at myself in the mirror. Oh god.

My decadent, ashy blonde hair has turned completely dark. My eyes are not their grey-blue anymore, the irises are a deep blood red. This cannot be happening. I whip around at Eira who is staying alarmingly calm through all this.

"What did you do to me!?" I rage at her. Loki holds me back by restraining my arms behind my back.

"Ayça, please!"

"No!"

"Look at me!" He yells, turning me around and holding me by my shoulders. "You are still Ayca Beckland. You are still you. There is a part of you that was stronger than your human form when you died. I had no choice, I-" He cuts himself off, croaking out the last word out of the pain of what just crossed his mind. "-I couldn't... I-"

"Loki..." I say, calming down and putting my hand on his cheek. He holds it there while looking at me as though he's reliving that same moment I was. "I understand. I would have done the same." I say, dropping my hand and turning back around to Eira. "I'm sorry I lost my temper. I wasn't expecting to come back like this. But, if you could tell me... at what cost?"

Eira bows her head, tapping her fingers on the table she had been leaning on. She looks back up at me, then towards the mirror that I had just looked into. "My dear, you are the cost. I couldn't hold it in my heart to ask for something else when this is the price you pay. You are alive, well, sane, and immortal. I have done my work." She says, disappearing into another room.

"I guess I should say thank you." I say to Loki and Sif. She walks over to me and gives me a warm hug.

"You're a wonderful woman, Lady Ayça. I respect you, and I will always fight for you and by your side. You are my good friend, and I cherish you."

"Aw, Sif..." I say as she pulls away. She walks out, leaving Loki and I.

We leave the medicine woman's house and stroll through an empty nearby garden. Loki holds my hand, making me remember the first time he had done that. Things were so different back then.

Suddenly he twirls me like a princess, then pulls me into his chest. He rocks us side to side slowly as we dance in the flower petals being tossed around by a light breeze.

"My darling," He starts, "You're ethereal." He leans down to kiss me. Oh how I've missed it.

"Yes." I say after a moment.

"Referring to?" He asks, cocking his head slightly.

"Your proposal. I would love to marry you, Loki, Prince of Asgard."

His face beams with so much love I can hardly contain a joyous giggle. He kisses me, giving up the whole world around us for a moment.