Luminary Love

Chapter 11

"Alright! I'm here. I got ice cream, chips, plenty of alcohol, and there's a pizza on the way." Jade announced, bursting through your front door.

"I'm here too! Who am I killing?" Sabrina exclaimed, stomping in after Jade. The two rounded the corner into your living room to see you sitting with your legs splayed out in front of you. The entire top half of your body was wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. The room was eerily quiet, not even the TV was on. Jade approached you slowly, the girls giving each other puzzled looks as they neared you. "(Y/n)?" Sabrina asked, placing a hand on your shoulder. You stared straight ahead, your gaze fixating on the wall. Whatever you were thinking about, you were deep in it, completely unfazed by your friends arrival. Jade nodded towards the kitchen, lifting the bags up to indicate she was going to put everything away. Sabrina nodded, coming around to sit next to you on the floor. She studied your face. Your brows were furrowed, as if contemplating something. Your lips were slightly pursed. You eyes were a bit red and slightly puffy, telling Sabrina that you had been crying. The only movement being when you'd blink. Other than that, the expression remained unchanged no matter what happened around you.

"How is she?" Jade asked, coming out of the kitchen.

"I think she blinked a few times." Sabrina offered, looking up at Jade. The brunette bit the inside of her cheek, narrowing her eyes at you.

"(Y/n), I have ice cream and I have alcohol. Which one do you want?" No answer. Sabrina quirked a brow at Jade. "I need an answer.... Otherwise I'll just consume both myself..." She sang out, turning on her heels towards the kitchen.

"Ice cream, please." You muttered, looking over at her. The girls both snapped their gazes towards you, a triumphant smile resting on Jade's face. "Sorry, I zoned out for a second."

"I'll say..." Sabrina muttered, earning a tsk from Jade. The brunette went into the kitchen, grabbing the frozen containers out from the freezer and walking in with the three tubs and spoons. She sat down on the other side of the coffee table across from you. She slid each pint towards you and Sabrina before beginning.

"So what happened?" She asked, spooning the treat into her mouth. You sighed, shifting the fabric so you could use your arms and eat your ice cream.

"Shayne tried to kiss me." You muttered, focusing on getting your spoon to break the ice cream's surface. Your response was met with silence. You peeked up from the pint to see both girls staring at you big eyed. "Yeah." You said, confirming what they were probably thinking.

"Okay? And?" Jade asked, waving her spoon around.

"Nothing happened. I pulled away." You finished, lazily plopping the spoon into your mouth.

"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that you're upset about that?" Sabrina asked. You nodded, your eyes remaining on the food in front of you. "Okay." She cooed, patting your knee with her hand.

"Why did you pull away?" Jade asked, her voice soft and calming. The therapist side of her coming out. You shrugged. "Were you scared?" You thought for a moment before nodding.

"Why were you scared?" Sabrina asked, prodding further.

"'Cuz then it would've been real." You answered immediately, sticking the spoon in the frozen cream and setting it on the table. "It wouldn't have been a friend that I could say goodbye to and then leave for eight months. It'd be a boyfriend that I'd have to go long distance with right at the most crucial point in the relationship."

"Well if you two really liked each other, you'd make it work, right?" Jade asked, shrugging. "Pedro had the same worry, but we're making it work."

"It's not just that." You shook your head, sniffling a bit. "We'd also be right in the spotlight press-wise. They went wild with an Instagram comment, imagine what they'd do if they found out something came from it. We'd never be able to go out."

"That's not necessarily true..." Sabrina offered. "Shayne's famous, but only to a certain community, and you're just starting out. You're steadily inclining towards stardom." Sabrina chuckled, making her hand move upwards at an incline and trying to lighten the mood.

"Well we'll see about that... might be working at Starbucks soon." You muttered, giving a lack-luster chuckle.

"Still no call?"

"Not even a text from Daniel." You shook your head, pulling the fabric closer to your body. "That's also why I'm upset." The girls both nodded, understanding that this was just one of those nights where you needed a distraction. You needed them to just be your friends and hang out for a bit. Jade and Sabrina's pity filled stares bore into you. The  realization that it wasn't just one thing and that Shayne's attempt at making a move was probably the cherry on top of the anxiety sundae you were trying so desperately to keep from tipping over.

"Well, how about we watch some rom-coms and get wine drunk?" Jade asked, smirking at you.

"Oh, yes! Girls night!" Sabrina cheered, pumping her fist into the air. You chuckled, giving your first genuine smile since Shayne walked out the door earlier. The girls moved at once, Jade crawling over to sift through your DVD collection while Sabrina got glasses, wine, and the rest of the snacks. You moved from the floor to the couch, curling up on the end and grabbing your pint of ice cream. You swaddled it in your blanket so your fingers didn't get burned by the frost-bitten exterior. Jade planted herself on the other end, picking up the remote and going to your Roku's main menu. Sabrina came back, dramatically scooting her butt side to side as she took the middle cushion.

"Okay, calm down." Jade sneered, rolling her eyes with a sly smile on her face. Sabrina, stopped completely, looking at Jade for a moment before booty-bumping her hip against Jade's on the couch. The two burst into laughter, Jade's complaints and Sabrina's excuses filling the air around you. These two were like an old married couple sometimes.

As they bickered, your mind wandered to Shayne. The look on his face when you told him 'no' was heart breaking. The whole thing seemed so surreal to you. Just like when you first met at the club. It was so fast. Just blink and you'd miss it. But man, were those moments important! Your mind kept replaying the moment whether you wanted it to or not. The right side of your brain was throwing out every alternate scenario that could've happened if you would've reacted differently. The personified version of the emotion-driven hemisphere throwing their arms around frantically and drawing lines to different outcomes like a conspiracy theorist. Meanwhile, your left brain sat in the back, banging its head against the wall.

Right now, you blamed that side.

You tended to let that side rule the majority of the time, but with that came the threat to overthink. Overthinking lead to over-planning, which would lead to your brain solidifying certain plans and ideas as concrete and not daring to break from form no matter what. This was exactly what happened with Shayne today. You tried to convince yourself that you weren't interested in a relationship at that moment. That entering a relationship would only make things more complicated for your publicist to try and cover up from the press, your agent to help work your career around, and Shayne to have to keep secret or be okay with the fact that the paparazzi might ambush him at any moment for details about your coupling. They'd ask embarrassing, personal questions and wouldn't let up until they got an answer they were happy with. But there was one thing you were forgetting about: He said he would wait until you were ready.

Were you ready? There was so much at stake here concerning how other people were going to handle it that you didn't think about yourself. You didn't ask if it'd all be worth it. You didn't ask yourself if you wanted to be with Shayne, or kiss Shayne, or spend those lazy nights just hanging out with him. And in all honesty, you did. You were ready for a relationship with him. Left Brain just didn't want to take the risk.

Jade had managed to win the argument, successfully yelling over Sabrina and telling her to can it so you could watch the movie. The last thought crossing your mind before distracting and immersing yourself in the movie was this:

How was Shayne doing? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shorter filler chapter for y'all!

Have a good week!

Lots of Love!

Gill