Luminary Love

Chapter 12

"I am such an idiot."

Shayne was slumped against his couch, his eyes glued to the ceiling. Much like you, he couldn't stop thinking about what happened either. If he was being completely honest, he had no clue why he tried to make a move. He couldn't help himself. You were so close and your lips were right there... The whole moment just seemed perfect.

Well... at least then it did.

Was there ever a perfect moment for a first kiss? They always seemed to be awkward. The idea of a "perfect first kiss" only seemed to happen in books and movies. But if you zoom out from those scenes with the romantic atmosphere and swelling score, the moment wasn't that special. The seemingly grand gesture of somebody running through the airport to finally profess their undying love -- and seal the deal with a kiss -- was only made magical by the effects added in post-production. In reality, that moment was two strangers making out in the middle of a crowded area while everybody around them tried to ignore the PDA.

Considering that, what Shayne did, in theory, wasn't that bad. Even the rejection wasn't that bad. Normally, if that would happened, Shayne would've just brushed it off as misreading the situation and that would've been the end of the date. However, the wrench in the whole situation was that he had crossed a line. You weren't a girl he met at a party and wanted to see if MAYBE things would work out. You were, well... You. You two were friends, close friends. You weren't on a date. You were just hanging out like you always did. Sure, you had a expressed an interest in a relationship, but you had expressly told him that you weren't ready. And he didn't listen.

"No, you're not. Stop saying that." Damien said, walking out from the hallway that lead to the bathroom.

"No, I am." Shayne argued, sitting up and folding his hands in front of him. "I just.... God, I feel so stupid!" Shayne exclaimed, throwing his hands up and letting them slap against his thighs. "She's never going to want to talk to me again." He shook his head.

"That's not true." Damien immediately shut down the notion. "You said it yourself, she didn't want you to leave. She asked you to stay to talk about it." Shayne sighed.

"And I'm the idiot who left her there."

"Stop saying that!" Damien said, pointing an angry finger at his friend. "I know you're upset right now, but wallowing in your own self-pity isn't going to help, okay? You tried to kiss her and she pulled away. Fine! Who cares?" Damien threw his hands out to the side. "If you would've just stayed and talked to her about it, maybe things would be different right now. What if she wanted to kiss you? Actually, I know for a fact that she wanted to kiss you!" Damien pointed out. "You know how I know?" He asked. Shayne just looked at his friend, waiting for him to continue. "Because from how you described the whole thing, she let you get close enough that you could've kissed her. She backed out at the very last second which can only mean that she wanted to kiss you, but didn't." Shayne sat in silence, taking in what his best friend was saying. He hated to admit it, but Damien was right. If you didn't want to kiss him you would've moved away the instant the bowls were recovered.

"You're right." Shayne sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I just..." He huffed, running his hand over his face, the palm resting over his mouth for a moment before he removed it. "I don't know what to do."

"Just from an outside perspective, I say you go over there and ask her out." Damien shrugged. "I have never seen you pine after a girl this hard in the decade that I've known you."

"You know what?" Shayne said, slapping his hands down on his legs again. "Fuck it. I'm asking her out. I can't do this anymore." He stood up from the couch, marching over to his counter and picking up his car keys and wallet.