Luminary Love

Chapter 30

"Can I get a medium green juice please?" You asked, pulling out one of your airpods so you could order. The young, acne-ridden teenager behind the counter nodded, quickly getting to work. You looked around the shop, leaning back against the counter as you cooled down. It's been a few months since the premieres and you've spent that time happily doing nothing but improving yourself.

The aftermath of the past few months brought along a lot of unwanted anxiety to your life. It would for anybody. Breakups were bad enough, but having it be in the public eye made things exponentially worse. You often found yourself laughing at the absurdity of rom-com and how inaccurate they were. But not when it comes to falling in love. No, some of that stuff actually tracked. It was how people react when the relationship was over. The movies only showed a fraction of what people go through. The crying, the eating ice cream, the wallowing in self-pity... It's only one of the five stages. What you don't see is the anxiety, the urge to avoid everybody who has any kind of contact with him, the dissection of your entire person to see what the flaw was that ended things. You never see when somebody is curled up on the end of their couch having a panic attack because they fully believed that nobody would ever love them.

It's too real.

Moreover, when somebody does cheat, you never see their side. It's always from the POV of the person who was cheated on. Never the other way around. The cheater is painted as a horrible person and gets nothing but awful things at the end. But what if they were truly sorry? What if they spent their nights crying alone in their bed because it was the worst thing they've ever done?

Nobody wants to know.

You'll never forgive yourself for what you did to Shayne. But you wouldn't get anywhere in life if you let the depression and anxiety control you. So you moved on. You weren't ready for a relationship. You didn't know what you wanted and that's where things got complicated. You needed to love yourself first before you could fully commit to somebody else.

You jogged now. More than you used to. The sunlight and physical activity helped calm your anxiety and you felt great afterwards. You've also been going to therapy. There, you've been able to talk about everything you've needed to (and then some) and even got yourself medicated. It's been a tremendous help and you were finally back to that good place in your life.

"One green juice for Ms. Cololl." The teenager cracked out. You turned around, smiling as you huffed out your exhaustion. You took the sweaty cup and handed the kid a five dollar bill.

"Keep the change." You smiled, taking a sip as you walked out. You made your way down the street to your house. The wonderful bright side to that smoothie shop was that it was a five minute walk from your place and served as an excellent post-run treat. Your eyes closed as you basked in the late-morning sun. A couple with their golden retriever walked towards you. You smiled, waving to them before lowering your greeting to the pup. The dog wagged its tail, happily trotting along with it's people. He diverged from his usual path and came over to sniff you. You slowed down a bit and scratched his head, scrunching your nose at the adorable pet. You said a quick 'hi' to the owners before continuing your walk.

Your peaceful walk was interrupted by your smart-watch buzzing on your wrist. You looked down to see that Jade was calling you. You smiled, tapping one of your airpods to accept the call.

"Hey, girlie!" You cheered, slowing down and stopping at a bench that decorated the side of the road.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"Just finished my jog. What's up?" You crossed your legs, balancing the cup between your hand and your chest so you could sip easier.

"Would you be interested in meeting up with me and one of my... friends tonight?" She hesitated, her voice raising up an octave at the end. You rolled your eyes. Here we go again...