Saving Me

Chapter 16

Callie's POV...

It's been 2 weeks. 2 whole weeks without Arizona. Not a peep. I've rang and messaged her multiple times every day, but nothing, and it's killing me. I don't know what else to do. I can't stop thinking about her, and it's breaking my heart. I know I have to accept that we are over and that I've lost her, but I can't. I can't imagine my life without her. I know it's all my fault, I should have told her at the beginning, I've never hated myself as much as I do now. I just wish she would let me explain.

"Mummy booboo still hurting," Sofia, my 3-year-old daughter, says, walking into my room, before climbing into my bed next to me.

"Yeah, baby, mummy booboo is still hurting, I'll be okay," I say, putting a slight smile on my face, wiping the tears that were on my face.

"I love you, mummy," she smiles, planting a kiss on my cheek. She melts my heart, She's the only thing holding me together.

She knows I'm in pain, but being 3, I just said I hurt myself, and it's very painful. She's been adorable, always following around so, in her words, she can look after me. I won the lottery when I had Sofia, and I wouldn't change her for the world. However, I didn't realise I was missing something until I found Arizona, she completed me, now I feel like I've lost that part of me again and I don't know how to get it back. I should have told her from the start, then I could have explained everything, and we could be happy right now.

"Let's get you ready for nursery. Daddy is picking you up," I smile, wiping the last few tears from my cheek.

"Okay," she grins before jumping off the bed and running to her room.

I forced myself to get out of bed and get ready. I look at myself in a mirror, and a person I don't recognise stares back at me. My normally bright, shiny eyes look puffy and bloodshot, making it obvious that I've been crying and the bags underneath show how sleep deprived I am. My tan skin looks dull and lifeless. I get myself dressed and apply some makeup, trying to make it look like I haven't been crying myself to sleep every night.

"You ready babygirl" I say, walking into Sofia's room.

"yeah mummy" As on cue, there was a knock on the door.

"Come on then," I smile

We walked down the stairs and I went and answered the door, while Sofia put her shoes and coat on.

"Hey," I half smile, opening the door.

"Jhez Callie, you look awful," Mark says

"Thanks," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep that well last night." I half lied

"Daddy," Sofia screams, running into his open arms.

"Hey princess."

"Have fun at Daddy's okay and I'll see you Monday" I smile, giving her a kiss.

"Okay, mummy, I love you. I hope booboo stops hurting soon,"

"bye babygirl" With that, they have gone, and I'm left alone... again. I close the door, and tears spill from my eyes. The past 2 weekends have been hell without Sofia, I need her here, but it wouldn't be fair not letting her go to her dads just because I need her. It's only 3 days. I singed and went and sat on the sofa and put the tv on. Daytime tv is shit but what else have I got to do. I watched tv for an hour or so, and all I kept thinking about was Arizona. I want Arizona. Scrap that, I NEED her. I can't take it anymore, I need to speak to her. If she isn't going to answer my calls or text, I have to go see her. She has to speak to me face to face... right?  I have to at least try. What have I got to lose?

I go make myself a coffee and put my shoes and coat on before grabbing my keys and heading out. I get in my car and set off to Arizona's . It's Friday so she will be at work, so I decide to go straight there. Luckily traffic wasn't too bad so before I knew it I was in the car park next to the café. I was shaking, I was so nervous. I took a big deep breath and got out of the car and walked to the café. I was glad to only see a few people... but no Arizona.

I opened the door and walked to the counter just as Lexi came out from the back. She didn't look good, but as soon as she saw me, her facial expression turned to anger, I suddenly became terrified. It took all I had not to bolt out the café.

"What are you doing here?" she says through gritted teeth.

"is Arizona here, i..i need to speak to her," I whisper.

"she's not here,"

"Oh,"

"she doesn't want to see you or talk to you, Callie."

"I know, but I need to explain."

"Explain what, you broke her Callie, she's a complete mess because of you."

"I know but please Lexi, I need her, it's killing me not having her in my life, I love her" the realisation hitting me, making me cry, I'm in love with her.

"You can't love her if you could do what you did."

"I'm in love with her and I fucked up I know but it's not what you all think, please" I beg

"I have to get back to work, if you aren't having anything to eat or drink then please leave" I turned to walk away when Lexi spoke again.

"oh and Callie don't even think about going to her house, Amelia is there and she is more pissed then I am, she wont hold back" She then walked behind the counter out of view. I turned and walked out the door tears streaming down my face. As soon as I got in my car the flood gates opened and I couldn't breathe, my heart was physically hurting. I've never felt pain like this.