Jhoana's POV
I walk away from her as I blink my eyes trying to stop any tears from falling down. I don't even know why I'm crying when I already told myself from the start, that she is someone who is already committed.
Committed to someone she haven't even met.
I like Bea..
I didn't even know that I do.. pero kanina when she asks me if we can date officially? When I felt how my heart almost jumps out off of my chest? I knew right then that I like her.
I keep on denying it this past few weeks but I know deep inside me, that there is something special about her. The way she cares for me, makes me laugh with her corny jokes, her bond with my lola and my friends, or just simply because of her presence. When she's around everything seems so light. Like I know that my day will be good when I already see her head popping out of my office door.
Everything felt so right but I know it's not...
I want to walk away as far as I can but something tells me to stop and watch them..
Bea and Jia.. my bestfriend and my... friend. That's right, she's just my friend. I'm not the one she's been looking for. And like I said to her, I will never be.
I watch as she walk towards my bestfriend. So slowly I felt like pushing her so I can move on already. And I mean move on from where I'm standing. Because I know I can't move on from that beautiful woman so easily.
"Julia.." I can't hear them from here but I can clearly read that first word she said when she's finally at Jia's side.
Gusto kong malaman kung anong pinag-uusapan nila. Gusto ko marinig lahat ng sasabihin ni Bea. Kung masaya ba siya na nakita na niya yung taong hinahanap niya?
Gaano ba kaimportante sa kanya yung taong yun? She went all the way here, not even sure kung makikita niya pa 'to. She switched from being a doctor to a chef, hoping that she'll find that girl she used to write to. How? Because that girl told her she wants to be a chef and wants to study abroad. They were what? Twelve or fourteen at that time, but still Bea held onto that.
Bea likes J, actually no.. Bea loves J .. She's in love with the girl who helped her through her dark years..
Ano namang laban ko don? Sino ba ako? She only met me a few months ago. We had such a great time when we're together, and I wanted to believe her when she said she likes me.
But I want her to like me as me.. and not because she is seeing a different person in me.
Tumingala ako sa langit nang may maramdaman akong patak ng tubig sa pisngi ko. Natawa ako dahil napakainit ngayon. Hindi ulan o ambon ang pumapatak sa'king pisngi.
Luha.. ni hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na ako. Bakit ba ako umiiyak? Si Jia naman yon.. Bestfriend ko yon. Alam kong nasa mabuting tao siya. Pero bakit ganito? Ayaw tumigil ng luha ko? Bakit pakiramdam ko gusto kong magalit sa kanila? Napakasama kong tao. Wala akong pinagbago. Napaka-makasarili ko pa rin talaga..
Unti-unti akong umatras at naglakad palayo nang makita kong niyakap ni Bea si Jia.
Ayun na yon di'ba?
Sigurado na siya na si Jia na yung hinahanap niya?
Siguro nga.. siguro nga si Jia siya..
Naglakad lang ako nang naglakad hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan na nandito na pala ako sa shop. Pawis na pawis at masakit na ang paa ko pero parang wala pa rin akong nararamdaman.
