In Your Arms ( Med Series #1)

Chapter 56

Dedicated to: LykABadass

Chapter 56

Still you

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the sins I have committed to you. I'm sorry because I scarred your heart. I'm sorry because of me you suffered," namumugay ang mga mata niyang paghihigi ng tawad sa akin.

Hindi ako umimik at iniwas ang mga tingin sa kaniya. The only thing that keeps a sound in this private room is the sound of the ventilator. He needs to stay for at least one week here in the hospital before he got discharged.

Pagkatapos kong malaman ang balita galing sa kaibigan ay dali-dali akong pumunta dito kabado at nanginginig. I thought something bad happened to him. I thought he got into critical condition.

Mabuti na lang at wala siyang ibang taong nabangga kun'di ang puno. Kung hindi man tanga ay magmamaneho ng inaantok. Mabuti na lang din at walang major damage ang nangyari sa kaniya. Tanging gasgas sa mukha at pagkabali ng kaniyang buto sa paa na ngayon ay may benda na.

He asked Renaissa to rest for just two days because he has pending works, patients, and cases, but I refused. I asked my best friend to make it a week to make sure that he really recovered well.

Dr. Caserial will surely understand.

It scared me to death. Natakot ako...natakot ako na baka bigla na lang siyang mawala sa akin. Natakot ako na baka bigla niya akong iwan ng tuluyan. And I hate it.

I hate that I still have these feelings for him. I hate it because no matter how he hurt me back then. How he destroyed me, I still can't get rid of it. I hate it... I hate that after hearing his side, I slowly melted. Nakakainis kasi sa sampung taon na pag-aayos ko sa sarili ko ay akala ko ayos na talaga ako. I hate to admit the fact that it was my self-defense mechanism.

Na ang buo kong akala ay ayos na ako. Na naka move on na ako sa mga pangyayari. Iyon pala ay hindi...

And why is love has this invisible barrier where you can't easily destroy. Why does it have to be powerful? No matter how tried to get rid of it, you can't. You can't because of the invisible power it holds.

They say love was a beautiful feeling to feel. They say it was magical—a fantastic one. But why do people who love truthfully need to suffer from pain? Why can't just everyone be happy about being in love, just like how everyone describes it.

Ever since I was young until now, love has never been so good to me. When I thought everything was going well, it will slowly destroy me unexpectedly.

Why does part of being in love is pain? Kapag ba nakaramdam ka ng sakit ay sukatan na tunay ka ngang nagmamahal?

And why is it hard to let go of the person who you truly love? Even if that person destroyed you. Even if that person inflicted pain on you, was it also part of being in love?

Kasi iya pa rin talaga... siya pa rin ang tinitibok ng puso ko kahit na sinira niya ako ng pinong-pino.

And no way I won't tell it to him... I've learned my lesson. Being vocal always about what I feel isn't good because people might take advantage of that behavior. That's why I learned to keep it to myself. To keep it private and let that person dig in my inside thoughts and feelings.

"You're still an asshole," I said coldly without looking at him.

Suminghap ako at pinunasan ang luha ko. Damn it, Henzy... ang hina mo naman. Ang hina mo kasi isang paliwanag lang ay tiklop ka agad.

"I know. I won't deny that. I did the most stupid way of making you hate me. And that was the most stupid decision I ever made in my life."

Inabot niya ang aking kamay at hinawakan ito nang napakahigpit. Like he was longing of it afraid of letting it go. Hindi ko pa rin magawang tingnan siya sa kaniyang mga mata.