In Your Arms ( Med Series #1)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Dumb

The first day of our duty as a student nurse end successfully. It was tiring but it was fulfilling. Everyone was busy doing their work surely since we're dealing with the life of people.

So far, hindi pa ako napapagalitan dahil tama naman lahat ng mga pinanggagawa ko. However, some of us have been already scolded.

The most important thing in our job since we are just a student nurse is that we should be more flexible and listen carefully. One mistake could be the end of our patient's lives.

Pagkapos ko sa shift ko ay agad kong hinanap si Renaissa para sabay na kaming umuwi. I haven't seen her the entire day. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya naka assigned ngayon.

Pinikit ko ang aking mata ng naalala ko ang sinabi ko kay Reeve kanina. Tama ba na ganoon ang sinagot ko sa kaniya? Gosh, I didn't even think twice.

Am I willing to wait? Shocks. . . ni hindi nga ako sigurado sa sarili kong damdamin tapos 'yon ang sinabi ko sa kaniya?

Tapos kapag magtatanong ulit siya, ano na naman ang sasabihin ko? Na hindi pa pala ako handa. Na takot pa pala akong sumugal ulit.

Kung hindi ka ba naman isa't-kalahating tanga, Henzy. Kung sana ay pinag-isipan mo muna ng mabuti bago ka nagpadala sa 'yong emosyon.

But at that time it felt different. Nakakapanibago at masarap sa pakiramdam. He asks me to wait for him because he doesn't want me to be hurt again. The feeling of someone cares for your feelings.

But love isn't love if you don't feel the pain right?

Hindi naging ganyan si Christoph sa akin no'n. Christoph loves me but he wasn't considerate about my feelings. Pero si Reeve. . . kaya niyang maghintay kahit walang kasiguraduhan?

Pero kasi, sa akin ang problema. Am I willing? Am I willing to love again? Given the things that had happened to me in the past. I tried loving yet the past keeps on haunting me. It was molded in my heart that every time I love I always get pain.

He's my first love yet he chooses to hurt us. He left us leaving us in so much agony.

Kaya hindi ko rin masisisi ang sarili ko kung bakit takot akong magmahal.

"Henzy!" boses pa lang alam ko kung sino na.

I looked back to watch my bestfriend half running towards me. Napakunot ako nang makita ko ang mukha niya ngayon. Buwagwag na ang kaniyang buhok na parang hindi tinamaan ng suklay. Her make up were already smudged at ang kaniyang damit ay gusot-gusot na.

She looked messy right now. What happened to her?

"You're a mess," puna ko sa kaniya.

Hindi niya ako pinansin at tuloy-tuloy lang ang lakad niya palabas ng hospital. Okay? Parang may kumain sa kaniya at ang gulo-gulo ng ayos niya ngayon.

"Renaissa!" sigaw ko at dali-daling pumunta sa kaniya.

"May nakaaway ka ba?" I asked.

"Huh?" wala sa huswisyo niyang sabi sa akin.

"Sabi ko, may nakaaway ka ba?" tanong ko ulit. Balisa siya at parang may pinagtataguan. And I have never seen Renaissa this messy.

Ever since she experienced those things from her past, she changed.

"W-wala. . 'wag mo na lang akong pansinin..." she panicked. Parang hindi siya makapali. Kasi kanina pa siya palinga-linga.

"Bakit para—"