HOWLINGS AND SHADOWS (Thindrel Howzit Hawthorne)

🐾XXI. No one 🐾

Thindrel Howzit Hawthorne

Pagkatapat ko sa pinto ng aking apartment ay kaagad akong ginapangan ng kaba sa dibdib.

I know Esmeray wouldn't like me when I show up here kasi alam ko ang nararamdaman niya. Alam kong galit siya sa akin.

Pero hindi ko naman maipagkakaila ang aking naramdaman sa kabila ng kaba. I love her. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na tunay ang naramdaman ko sa kanya. Di porke magkaiba kami ay hindi na kami pwede. I learned it from Dwayne and his mate.

Kumatok ako ng tatlong beses sa pinto. I hear murmurs from the inside pero hindi ko masyadong marinig dahil mas malakas ang pintig ng puso ko.

The door flew open and it revealed my beautiful beloved. Esmeray is in her black sleeveless top and maong short shorts.

Her hair is braided neatly and her make-up is a bit dark like before I know her.

Kita ko ang pagka gulat sa mukha niya pero kaagad namang napalitan iyon ng galit na mga mata. In fact, it was more like indifference.

"Who is it?", dinig kong tanong ng isang tao na nasa loob pa ng apartment.

I tilted my head to see who it is and I saw one of my classmate before sitting comfortably on my sofa. May hawak itong tasa at sumisimsim sa kape.

"No one, babe", she turn to the guy to say that bago ako hinarap. "Baka nasa maling unit po kayo", aniya bago sinara.

"Ray, wait---!", nalunod ang boses ko sa malakas na hampas ng pinto pagkasara niya.

Why is she with some guy? And babe? She called him babe? I can't take it.

Kumatok pa ako ng ilang beses. Hindi na ako pinagbuksang muli kaya mas lalo kong pinaghahampas ang pinto kaya napilitang buksan ito ng tao sa loob.

I thought it's gonna be Esmeray again. But it was the man he's with. My old classmate.

"Thindrel, what are you doing here?", he asked.

"Step back. I'm here for Esmeray", malamig na sabi ko.

He smirks. "Anong sadya mo sa girlfriend ko?", he asked.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Dumiin ang tingin ko sa kanyang mga mata. I need to compell him to follow my order. I need to talk to Esmeray. I need to explain my side to her why I left.

"Step back or I'll break your neck", mariin na sabi ko.

He stare back at me. His eyes is full of curiosity.

"Did your eyes just sparks right now?", he asked.

Mabilis na kumunot ang noo ko. He's not compelled? The compulsion has no effect on him.

Kaagad na bumaba ang tingin ko sa kwentas na suot niya at may naamoy. It is vervain. Why is he wearing a vervain?

That's why I can't compell him is because of that fucking vervain.

"Babe, come on. Let's continue reviewing!", dinig kong sigaw ni Esmeray sa loob.

"Sorry, dude. We need to review. Malapit na ang exams eh. Ikaw? I heard you quit school? Well, anyway goodnight", he said before closing the door in front of me.

Kaagad akong nanlumo sa kinatatayuan ko. My knees weakened at bumagsak ang tingin ko sa aking mga paa. The crown I'm wearing fell into the ground. It bounced on the floor and gladly it didn't broke. The crown is sturdy and so heavy.

I bend my knees on the ground to pick it up. Tears flooded in my eyes. Heck! I didn't even let a single tear for a girl.

My father was right. The only thing that can trigger the emotions we have are the ones we love. The one we truly and deeply love.

Bumaba ako sa unang palapag at naupo sa isa sa bakanteng sofa doon. The Lorenzittee Building lack some staffs kaya hindi masyadong crowded at wala naman masyadong naglalakad sa oras na ito.

It's already midnight and they are probably asleep by now.

Hindi ko alam kong ilang oras akong naupo doon with my crown on my hand ng marinig kong bumaba ng hagdanan ang dating kaklase. He didn't saw me. Diretso lang ang lakad niya palabas.

Napansin kong wala siyang suot na kwentas gaya ng kanina kaya kaagad akong napatayo para sundan siya.

"Your Majesty!", I heard the receptionist called me kaya napabaling ako sa kanya at hindi na nakita ang lalaki.

"Miss Vozenilek asked if you could go to your old unit", she said and slowly bow her head to pay respect.

Hindi ko alam pero sa isang iglap ay nakarating na ako sa tapat ng aking unit. The excitement filled me. She wants me here. Pinatawag niya ako dito.

Hindi pa ako nakakatok ay mabilis na bumukas ang pinto. She open it wide so I can step inside.

Ganoon pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin. Malamig at galit.

"What do you want?", she asked.

Bumuka ang bibig ko para magsalita pero kaagad niyang minuwestra ang susi sa mesa.

"Here's your keys. Car and this apartment. I don't know why you gave this to me. But you're here now so might as well take it", malamig pa rin ang tungo niya sa akin at bahagyang tinulak ang mga susi palapit sa akin.

"I need to talk to you", sa wakas ay nasabi ko na rin ang sadya ko. "I'm not here for that. That's already yours. That belongs to you now".

She eyed me with daggers. "Look! I'm tired and I have exams tomorrow. If you want to talk about your apartment I said you can take it and I don't know why you gave it to me--".

"I'm not here for apartment, Ray. I'm here for you", sabi ko sa kanya.

Her eyes widened in fraction pero mabilis naman siyang nakabawi.

She cross her arms around in forntof her chest and look at me lazily.

"I have no business left with you, Mr. Howthorne or....", she trailed off as her eyes fell with the thing I'm holding right now. "......Your Majesty, I have nothing to say to you except about your apartment and your car. If you're here for something else, I can't provide you that so you can go now", aniya at mabilis akong tinalikuran.

"Can I stay here? J-Just for tonight? I-It's a long way back home....", I can't believe I stutter in front of her. Ni kailan sa buhay ko ay hindi ako kinabahan ng ganito.

She look at me and heave a sigh. "Whatever", she said and finally left me alone. Pumasok siya sa isang silid na sa pagkaalala ko ay iyon ang kwarto.

"He's just no one", I heard her whisper under her breath before closing the door.

My heart felt like I've been stabbed with silver knives a million times.

Yeah! Right! I'm just no one. I left her and I understand her feelings for me.

Galit siya. Galit na galit. And I don't think I can change that if she's this cold to me.

Naupo ako sa sofa na kinauupuan ng lalaki kanina. My heart hurt more. The man she's with right now is in our place. This is our place. This is our home. But she shares our home with someone else because I left.

Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa sandalan nito to prevent my tears from falling. Vampires are capable of turning their emotions off but I don't want to. I want to feel her wrath. I want to feel her anger, her coldness and everything she's feeling right now so I can take it all away.