HOWLINGS AND SHADOWS (Thindrel Howzit Hawthorne)

🐾XXXVIII. Searching for 🐾

Thindrel Howzit Hawthorne

Gaya ng pangako ko sa kanya. I tour her around the Moldova. Ipinakita ko sa kanya ang mga magagandang lugar dito sa amin. I know she's been sheltered for years. Cage by her parents for her protection kaya ng makitang aliw na aliw siya sa tanawin ay nakakagaan ng damdamin.

Ngunit hindi kami lumagpas sa boundary dahil ayaw kong ipahamak siya. Ayaw kong magkaroon pa ng gulo dito. I want it all to the smooth while Ilaria is here. I want it all to be perfect.

I know I should be doing this to Esmeray only if she didn't betrayed me. I loved her so much. If you wanna know how much I loved her, then I'm willing to give her the world she deserve. Everything she deserve even if she'll ask me to give up the throne and just live like a normal person, then I will. It just that maybe we're not for each other.

I know I hold a hige responsibility here. I'm the King, the ruler and the heir of my father. They said when you love someone ay sila ang dahilan ng ikabubuti mo. They will understand you and love you with all your flaws from physical to the spirit. I guess Esmeray didn't really feel it that way.

Or maybe she loved me but she fell out of love because of anger and all she feel about me was hate and she thinks of me as an enemy and a murderer.

Napatitig naman ako kay Ilaria na nakatingin lang sa malayo habang may malaking ngiti sa labi na alam kong tuwang-tuwa siya.

She never judge me about my past. She accepted me as a whole even after knowing that I killed my beloved, her attitude towards me didn't really change.

Akala ko ay matatakot siya sa akin. I thought she'll judge me and hate me. But she didn't. All she just ask of me is just be honest with her. That's what she wants.

I'm still traumatized to commit in a relationship like what I had before with Esmeray to Ilaria. Dahil sa nagawa ko ay natatakot na akong pumasok sa ganoong sitwasyon dahil baka maulit ko pa.

But then I suddenly realize. It was Esmeray. What's in front of me right now is Ilaria and not the girl who betrayed me.

It is Ilaria. The sweet, innocent and kind Ilaria.

"Sa inyo pa rin ba iyong batis!?", she shouted at me sabay turo sa malayong dako.

Kitang-kita ko ang batis na naroon sa bandang unahan na tinuro niya. The flow of the water is also heard.

Tumango ako sa kanya. "Yup!", I shouted back at her.

Ngumisi siya sa akin at tumakbo. Akala ko ay sa batis siya tatakbo ngunit bumalik siya sa akin. She grab me by the wrist and pull me with her as we both run towards the direction she's pointing.

"Let's go! Show me everything!", she said with full of excitement in her voice.

Wala akong nagawa kundi ay matawa nalang sa kanya. Nag makarating kami doon ay huminga siya ng malalim at nakatuon ang tingin sa batis.

"Wow! This is nice", aniya at naupo sa damuhan na naroon. I copied her at tabi kaming naupo habang nakaharap sa batis at sa malaking bundok sa harapan at sa likod nito ay ang araw.

"So! Tell me stories about her", aniya na nakangiti.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

What did she just say?

Nilingon niya ako dahil sa pagkatahimik ko.

"Esmeray. Tell me what kind of girl she is. Come on. I'll listen", pangungulit niya sa akin.

"You sure you won't get jealous?", I asked.

She laugh and shook her head. "Nah! She's dead already. I just want to know what kind of girl she is", aniya at malungkot na ngumiti sa akin.

I smile at her at tumango. "Well, she's kind of rebellious to her parents. She has a lot of friends, sorority it is, I think and she's the leader", sabi ko sa kanya.

Kaagad nanlaki ang mga mata niya.

"She's a bad ass then?", she snorted.

I pursued my lips. "Kind of. But when she know me, she changes her style. She used to wear goth clothing and dark make-ups. Then one day, she's dress as fine innocent lady. Dresses and no make-ups at all", sabi ko. "And I fell for her in that person", sabi ko.

She sighs. I saw sadness in her eyes. "So you fell for her in her innocent self and not what she really is before?", she asked.

Hindi ako kaagad nakaimik. Now. Just right now. I realized that I fell for Esmeray's second person and not what she really is. Dahil sa unang pagkikita namin ay hindi naman ganoon kabuti ang pakikitungo ko sa kanya.

"But I fell for her and accepted her as a whole because she's my beloved. She's a human and I am a vampire. We're in different races but our hearts are one", sabi ko. "She......", I trailed off. "Before she knows who I really was. She used to hate vampires and she believes that we actually existed and she wants to hunt us down so I was so scared to tell her the truth about me".

Huminga siya ng malalim. "Probably that wasn't love. For me. That's just my opinion", she defended her opinion. "Because love doesn't make you feel scared to someone. It should make you feel comfortable. I've seen a lot of stories. From my own parents. They're not in the same races. You see my father is a original vampire while my mother is a sorceress. Uncle Ambrogio I and his wife is also different because she's human and Uncle is a hybrid. And Uncle Cecilion and Aunt Thalia, they're also different just like Claudette and your cousin Dwayne. You see, difference is not a hindrance for two people who love each other. And I'm sure your mom and dad are different too, right?", she asked.

"And your Uncles too and their wives. They're humans before. But being different from each other doesn't stop them from loving, instead they took it as their strength and accept the person as a whole. Walang takot na bahid doon. Maybe she's just not the right one for you", aniya sa akin.

In this moment. I think I already found the one I have been searching for.