Invisible String| WinTeam

CHAPTER-36

"Can I talk to you?" Win spoke as Team slowly moved up his eyes to look at him. He did a double take as if to check if it was really him and after all that time, Win found it endearing.

"Right now?" He questioned.

"Yeah." He answered quickly in an attempt to seem more confident than he was at the moment.

"Alright. Where?" Win internally sighed in relief as he heard the answer. He was really getting more than what he deserved.

"Let's go to the cafe nearby or you can tell me where you want to go."

"The cafe is fine, I guess." Team nervously fell by his side as they turned around to leave.

"Thank you for doing this." Win spoke although Team did not say anything in response.

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"So....." Team started a little while after the awkward silence they had found themselves in.

"Well the coffee is nice." Win said as he collected his thoughts and he looked back on the things he had prepared to tell him before coming to meet him.

"I'm not here to talk about the coffee."

"Ah yeah. I am so sorry and for the rest of my life, I'll feel sorry for the things that I said and for the things I should have said but didn't. Look, I am not.... I am not someone who is very experienced when it comes to relationships and I am not using it as an excuse to justify myself but it's just that.....communication is hard for me sometimes. The reason why I didn't go for any relationships before you came in my life is because it's hard for me to connect to another person emotionally. I just always think that.... well... when it comes to us, I have this thought in the back of my mind and it's so frustrating and difficult for me to say this out loud but... I feel like somehow I will end up getting hurt because the one who loves more always suffers more and-"

Team raised his eyebrows in offence and just when he was about to interrupt, he stopped him abruptly. "Don't say anything. Let me finish. I know that there's obviously no way to measure this stuff. I'm not saying that you don't love me like I love you or that I'm going through more shit than you have in your life but it's just what I've felt for the majority of my life now. It's not that I'm saying that you love me less and it's your fault for doing that. I'm saying that I just can't believe anyone could really love me more than I love them 'cause just like I said before, I've always been the one to take care of people and never the one people choose as their first option. And Team, don't sympathise with me for that because you know, despite everything, I've had great friends and a nice boyfriend and a good, comfortable life. I messed up, okay? And if you think you can't do this anymore, I will under.... well I will be devastated and that is the last thing I would want because I love you and even if you love me a million times less than how much I love you, I still want to be with you but um... yeah I'll respect your decision."

Team quickly eyed him as Win patiently waited for an answer. "You are stupid."

"What?" Win's heart dropped to his knees as he asked the question. He must have seen what was coming because he reached out to grab Team's hand on the table. Team didn't let go of his hand for a second or two, before he finally retracted back and leaned back on his chair.

They sat in a very uncomfortable silence and the silence was so all encompassing that Win could feel his ears go numb.

"I'm really sorry." He spoke over the silence.

"Shut up."

"I feel really bad because you think that I love you a million times less than how much you love me."

"I said that hypothetically."

"I get why you would say that. I've been really secretive about my past and I've been... well.... guarded and difficult since the very beginning. You've got your issues and I've got mine but I'm here now, am I not? And I am a person who holds hella grudges against people, like if you fuck me over, I will never ever forgive you but I came here 'cause I care about you. Being insecure and having bad anxiety has made me a bit reluctant to open up to people but like I said, I'm here in front of you even though I was so, so, so mad at you hia. I still came because I always want to see you and talk to you to make things right. So many times I've pushed you away but none of those times, I actually wanted to push you away. Do you love me more or do I love you more? I don't know the answer to that and to be honest, I don't care as long as you're there for me. Do you get that?"

Win nodded as he took in each and every word coming out of Team's mouth with the regard and reverence they deserved and for each one of them, he stored them in a place in his heart. His heart- that would always love the boy in front of him. While he was thinking of a reply, Team had already opened his mouth to say something more. He liked him like that, talking and showing his true feelings instead of being quiet. He'd take an angry and annoyed Team over a quiet and subdued Team any day.

"I mean.... you did say stupid stuff I didn't like and I'm still mad at you for that but that doesn't change everything I just said about loving you and caring about you."

Again, silence surrounded them because how was he supposed to react to that. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, envelope him in his arms. Something, anything that involved more than talking and less than talking would be one of his stronger suits but he digressed.

"Are we back together?" That, really was the question he cared the most about at the moment.

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A/N: finally a chapter in win's pov. i personally relate more to team so writing in win's pov is kinda challenging so i hope i did an okayish job.