Invisible String| WinTeam

CHAPTER-3

He had a panic attack under water. He had a fucking panic attack under water.

Team's eyes opened as soon as he gained his consciousness. The sudden realization of what had happened hit him like an incoming train. A swimmer from the swimming club had drowned under water. He was a joke now. No one would ever respect him, he was a disgrace to the team and to the swimming club. He had proved to everyone that he was after all, a loser.

Team didn't know what triggered his panic attack. He should've stayed at home, he shouldn't have gone into the water at all, he should've at least gone with Win. All he knew was that he would never be able to show his face to anyone ever again.

Looking at his surroundings, he realized that he was in an unfamiliar room. He cursed at himself for losing his consciousness but he was still glad that he didn't wake up in a hospital room. When Team tried to lean up on the bed using his elbows, he noticed a figure standing at the entrance of the door.

"Are you okay?" It was Win who had brought him there. He was in Win's room. His mind flashed back to the golden light he saw under water and realized that it was Win who had saved him. He wondered if he had died if he were alone but he still preferred dying to the humiliation he would have to face after everything.

"I am," He coughed as he struggled to finish his sentence. He realized that his voice was hoarse and shaky. He didn't want to speak at all, because there was nothing he could say that would justify what he did, or what his anxiety did to him.

"You don't have to say anything. Just drink the water beside you. I'll cook something for you to eat now that you're awake," Win spoke. Just having Win in front of him was a huge slap in his face. Win must have thought he was a big disappointment. For some reason, Team cared a lot about what Win thought about him. He didn't know what to do or what to say, he just wanted to disappear and never show his face to anyone ever again.

Team looked at Win again. He was wearing a white shirt and the top few buttons of the shirt were undone, his hair was messy and disheveled and Team almost licked his lips when he saw Win wearing gray sweatpants for a very apparent reason. Now was definitely not the time to feel what he was feeling and yet, Team couldn't help but admire the guy who had saved him, the guy who made him feel warmth amidst all the coldness and nothingness.

When Win went inside the kitchen, Team took his time to look around his surroundings. Win's room was much cleaner than his own. On the study table, there was a stack of books. On the other side, there were binders, planners and a small calendar. Everything was neatly organized in his room. There were no posters or photographs on his wall which Team found a bit odd. When he heard Win's footsteps from the kitchen, he sat up straight on the bed.

Win sat on the edge of the bed not too far away from Team. Team looked at the veins of his hands as he moved the food from the bowl onto the plate. As Win proceeded to put the food in a spoon, Team interrupted him.

"I can feed myself hia," he said his voice shaky, still avoiding eye contact with the older guy. He could barely speak because of the ache in his throat.

"OK. Eat as much as you can. You need the energy Team."

"Why does my voice sound like this?"

"Um... I don't think you want to know."

"Tell me, I do want to know."

"You were screaming when I brought you here. It took a while to get you to relax and to bring your fever down."

"Oh." Team was mortified. He didn't know what he said or for how long he was shouting but it was all too degrading for the younger whose pale skin gleamed with goosebumps as he thought about the whole ordeal.

Team started eating the porridge Win had prepared for him. It was hot and he liked the sensation of hot food on his almost numb tongue. He felt calm for a moment but then he looked at Win's face and the shame returned to him.

"Is it good?" Win asked him.

Team just nodded as he continued eating his meal. While he was eating, he could feel the older guy's eyes on him and the thought made him shudder mentally. He dared to look up and when he did, Win was smiling at him.

Maybe he was smiling about the fact that Team was a weak piece of shit. Maybe he was hiding his disgust by smiling. Team didn't return his smile back as he scowled at the blonde.

"I know what you must be thinking right now," Team spoke, his voice a bit more normal than earlier.

"Don't you just love to make assumptions about people or maybe you are indeed, a mind reader?" Win spoke, his voice full of sarcasm.

"Aren't you gonna ask me what happened? Aren't you gonna ask me why I am such a fuck up?"

"I don't think you are a fuck up Team. You just had an anxiety attack, I think."

"I had a panic attack."

"OK. I want you to tell me what happened only if you are comfortable. Of course, I want to know what happened but I don't want you to say or do anything that you might not be ready for yet."

At that statement, Team could feel his eyes stinging with tears. It was the same occurrence when someone asks you if you are okay when you are not so you start crying.

"Hey. Don't cry. I told you that you don't have to tell me anything. In fact, you don't have to tell anyone anything for that matter. I am here for you if you need anything. You haven't done anything wrong."

At that point, Team started crying even harder. He didn't want to cry in front of Win but there was no point in pretending and it felt so nice to let go and cry. The sound of his quiet sobs filled the room as Win hugged him. He cried against Win's shirt and clutched the material of his shirt as hard as he could so as to stop him from leaving even though Win wasn't going anywhere.

When he finally stopped, he backed away not before feeling the dampness of Win's shirt on his cheek. Team's face was millimeters apart from Win's face. He was still holding onto Win's shirt as he stared into his eyes.

When Team finally realized the gravity of the situation, he let his hand leave the material of Team's shirt and leaned back to have the support of the pillow in an attempt to move away from the older guy.

"I am sorry," Team whispered and closed his eyes.