Good Intentions

28: ThanksGiving

"Why don't you just go home." "Because Hope's there." "And you've missed her so go," Damon told me as he flopped down on the sofa beside me. "I don't want to hurt her." "You won't... You've not killed a single person since you've turned. Caroline killed someone the first day." "I don't want to take any chances with her okay. She's just a kid. What if I scare her... What if-"Stop, stop making excuses." "I'm going to check on the turkey," I tell him leaving him alone. He wouldn't understand he didn't have to fear hurting his loved ones when he turned because his brother killed his dad and his brother was also a vampire, therefore he had nothing to worry about. I did. I could hurt Hope. It doesn't matter if I haven't hurt anyone yet. 

"You're being ridiculous. And I'm getting bored of having you here." He called to me but I ignored him and checked on dinner. I was attempting to make us our own thanksgiving dinner. 

I couldn't go to the school because there are a few kids there and I didn't want to chance, anything, I couldn't go to Care and Stef's because of the twins being home from school. And my house was off-limits because of Hope. So I stayed at Damon's apartment and he decided to stay with me. I was glad because being alone on Thanksgiving sucks but I didn't want him to miss out on time with his family. Though I was definitely happy he stayed with me, Thanksgiving would have been so much worse on my own. Knowing Hope would be upset with me because I skipped out on spending time with her. 

I wish she'd understand. I can't protect her. I don't have my magic, I'm not nearly as strong as I used to be, I would be useless if anything happened to her, to us. And now I'm a threat to her and that's one thing I can protect her from by staying away. If I stay away I can't hurt her physically. And eventually, she'll move on. Or she'll be so angry with me she'll shut me out and she'll be safe. 

I'm no good to her without my magic. If the thing that happened in the school happened to us now we'd both be dead. She needs someone to protect her from all the evil in the world. I'm not that person anymore. 

From the moment I saw Hope when she came to the restaurant with dad, there was something in me telling me to protect her. That she was special and that need to protect her is still there I'm fighting against it every day. I want to be with her to protect her but I know I can't. 

I put Turkey back in the oven before going back into the lounge. "You know we could have just gone to the restaurant for dinner," Damon tells me. I didn't say anything put in response just put my head in his lap tucking my legs close to me. I wanted to be at home with my family. I wanted to be drawing with Hope and listening to Marcel and Uncle Elijah play the piano whilst Dad orders dinner for us to the house because God knows none of them can cook. Cami would be trying to calm Dad down when they got our order wrong because she's the only one that can. Freya would be sat with us talking magic and Bex and Hayley would be hanging decorations. Kol would be teasing me but that's what he does. Davina would be telling him to stop but everyone was slightly amused about our bickering. And I miss it. And I wish I was home. I wish I never died. I wish I still had my magic. I just want to go back in time and rethink what I did for a moment longer. Waited to get my strength back to take down my mother then maybe I would still be able to be with my family and protecting Hope. 

DAMON'S POV

I froze for a second when she laid down. I was confused she wasn't hitting back with a sassy comment or telling me to shut up. And then her shoulders shook a little, she was crying. I ran my hand through her auburn locks in an attempt to comfort her without saying anything. I didn't do the talking about emotions thing and neither did she so it was best to just stay quiet at this moment. 

I knew what it was about. She missed Hope. She was struggling with not having her magic despite what she said. She missed being with her family, it's only been a few days but she's used to being around them now, always. They have dependency issues.