Just Another Girl

Anyways chile-

*andkdllddlankaldlsmwkwlsndlwms*

~𝚅𝚊𝚍𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅~

    Bro, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I've had weird dreams before but...that was beyond weird. AND IT WAS ABOUT APATE NONETHELESS.
It just doesn't make any sense, I mean why would I have a dream about Apate...and I can only assume that the girl speaking up for her is her mother? No that doesn't make any sense I don't even know her mother so why would I dream about her, she's no milf that's for sure.

~𝔸𝕣𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕤 ℙ𝕆𝕍~

     Holy Fuck, that was not supposed to happen.
Do you know how hard it is to crawl inside someone's mind? It's EXTREMELY HARD, and I somehow managed to do it subconsciously...Great so now not only does Vad have some idea of what happened in Apates childhood, NOW I CAN HEAR HIS THOUGHTS WHENEVER I WANT! That's not exactly how I wanted any of This to happen, FUCK!
Well, now I have to tell him the truth...right?

~𝚅𝚊𝚍𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅~

Well, what happened in that dream can be assessed another time, for now, I'm focused on today.
"Are you awake?"
I didn't want to be too loud because it was nine in the morning.
"Barely"
Arcane replied in a raspy-sounding voice.
"You know what today is right?"
I asked
"Uhhh no"
He replied in a confused voice
"It's second Sunday"
I said getting up and walking towards my dresser
"Okay and"
He said rolling over
"And we're gonna go celebrate"
I said walking over towards him
"Do we have to?"
He asked
"Yes we do because it's our first date"
I was blushing so much when I said that
"...hehe okay"
He said in a childish tone

      I walked into my bathroom to take a shower
"Ugh, I don't understand why I'm bruised so much I didn't do anything"
I looked in the mirror at my body, gross.

~𝔸𝕣𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕤 ℙ𝕆𝕍~
*BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER WITH THIS CHAPTER I AM PUTTING A TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTION OF SCARS AND SUICIDE! IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE ARE THINKING OF...You know....swinging from a chandelier, call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK*

I guess this is what you'd call happiness. HA, I haven't felt like this in years. I like it, I just wish it could be like this all the time. For once in my life, I don't feel like I've just been slammed into by an 18 wheeler and then immediately shoved in a tub full of ice water. Ugh, I hate feeling this way but I can't change it. I feel so pathetic thinking about myself like that but it's the only way I see myself.
I don't have time to think about this right now, I need to get ready.
I took off my undershirt and pajama pants and threw them on my bed. I tried to open the drawer to my dresser but it just wouldn't budge, Vad walked out of the bathroom with a towel thrown over his head and the same pajamas he was wearing last night.
"Need any help over there?"
He asked walking over towards his bed
"No, I got it, thanks"
I did not have it but I didn't want to ask for help
"Oh come on, let me help you...please"
He said walking over towards me
"Fine, but only because you asked"
I said rolling my eyes. He got my drawer unstuck and started laughing
"Hahaha now see, that wasn't that hard"
He said looking at me
"Yeah sure"
I was a little bit pissed that he opened it so much easier than I did
"Ummm Arc what's that?"
He said looking at me concerned
"What's what?"
I replied I didn't understand what he was talking about at first
"Arcane, what's on your arm?"
I looked down and immediately realized that I wasn't wearing a long sleeve shirt, hell I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt at all.
"It's nothing"
I said putting my arm behind my back, it's not like I could convince him he didn't see anything but it didn't hurt to try.
"C-can I please see your arm"
He said looking at me. He didn't look mad at me, he didn't exactly look sad either.
"Mmm mm"
I shook my head at him slightly turning around
"Arc, please let me see your arm...I promise you I'm not mad or upset, I just want to see it"
He was looking down at the floor when he said that, it made me feel bad...not because he saw it but because I feel like I let him down.
"Y-you promise you aren't mad at me?"
I asked looking at him
"I promise I'm not mad"
At least this time he was looking at me when he was talking
"P-please don't put any pressure on them"
If you've ever had any fresh scars you'd know that when you put a good bit of pressure on them it hurts, or if you cut your thighs, the wrong type of fabric can irritate them and cause them to split back open if they're fresh.
"I promise I won't put any pressure on them, just let me see them please"
I was crying, not because I had just been caught but because he was being so calm about it. He wasn't acting anything like my mother was when she found out.  I slowly brought my arm back out from behind my back, he slowly reached out and grabbed my arm.
"Why?"
He looked at me letting a tear roll down his cheek
"I-I don't know, I just like how it feels to have a blade on my skin"
As much as I hate to admit it, it is true...for some reason putting down scars on my skin calms me. God, I'm so fucked up! That's the exact opposite of what I should feel, I should be ashamed that I put them there...but I'm not...WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS!
"Arc, you know I care about you right? I know we just met not too long ago but, I care about you...I want you to know that you aren't alone in this, I'm hurting too...maybe not in the same way but, I am hurting...I may not be cutting myself but I can assure you that what I do isn't any better than what you do"
I can't look at him crying, it makes me feel terrible.
"I know, I just....there are so many things in this world that I can't control, one thing I can control is how my scars look"
Strange enough, talking to him about this made me feel safe.
"Can I kiss you?"
Vad asked me holding my arm in one and my face in the other, wiping away my tears.
"Y- yea"
I replied

*I would just like to say, some of these characters are based on my life and my experiences. If I made a joke in this chapter or if I said something that offended you, I do apologize. As I said before, some of these characters and events that take place are based on me, my life, and/or experiences that happened to me or someone I'm close to*

~ℬ𝓊𝓃𝓃𝓎 ℴ𝓊𝓉~