Ordinary - (Dabi x OC)

Drowning

Top pic credit: DaikoJino

Violet POV:

My sleeping head dropped right back into consciousness when I felt Dabi's side of the bed the next morning.

I didn't even have to open my eyes to know he wasn't in here anymore. The cold sheets between my fingers are proof enough of his absence.

An empty bed, but my heart is full...

....full of regrets, that is!

A small, drowsy groan escaped my throat as I lethargically rolled over in the bed, sinking my back into the feathery soft sheets as I rubbed my tear crusted eyes and reflected-and overthought the entire conversation between Dabi and I, eight hours ago.

What in the over-sharing hell got into me last night?

I haven't been actually conscious for more than a few moments, but the more I slowly start to wake up, the worse I feel about dumping all my problems on Dabi yesterday.

Maybe it was the lingering effects of Midas' amplifying crystals, or maybe it's the fact that I'm becoming dangerously more attached to Dabi with every passing day. But, it's just been...so long...

So long since I cried.

Sure, it wasn't a full out mental breakdown last night-and thank goodness for that, right? I don't think Dabi, or even myself, would have been able to handle something so awkward.

However, tears were shed, and I don't know why. I say this, because there have been many times throughout my life that I've felt immense sadness-especially in the last eight years. But, I've always been good at hiding it. Hiding the pain. The sorrow. The emptiness that's weighing down my heart.

Man, I'd gotten so good at it. So good at blending into the background and just existing. So good about sparing people the unease of seeing the 'sad girl,' and sparing them of that weird and uncomfortable situation where they don't know what to say, or how to fix it.

So good at being the rock for my famil-my...friends. At being there for them when they need it. So good at comforting them over the loss of their family member, Touya, and so good at hiding the double losses that leave me with no family.

It took me eight years to perfect such a system. Eight years of suppression to get me to this point of successful emptiness. Not happiness, but emptiness-to where the pain is numbed down into nothing. Yes, it was still there. It's always been there, never having left. But, it was numb at least. Almost forgotten, even. Because I refused to go back to that day in my mind.

Because I can't go back to that day in my mind. Physically, my brain won't allow me to.

Instead, it's done quite the opposite-pulling me further away from those traumatic memories and deeper into a blank space where nothing and no one exists. Where there aren't any hopes and dreams, or laughter and enjoyment. Not even love and happiness.

It's just a blank space. One where my heart and mind rest all the time. A safe space that got me to where I am now.

Yeah. I'd become so good...at not feeling.

Until last night.

Until last night, when a certain blue eyed man unknowingly reached down into the depths of my soul and cracked that safe space. Cracked my voided perspective of the world and forced me to actually feel something for once.

Yeah. How dare he, right?

It was pathetic. How easily he was able to do it. How quickly I fell apart in his arms. It was even more pathetic when you consider how he wasn't even trying to make me open up. It just happened.