Ordinary - (Dabi x OC)

Withdrawals And The Color Grey

Dabi POV:

'Oi, what the hell's gotten into you tonight?'

'Clarity, Dabi. Just a whole lotta clarity.'

If you asked me why the hell I'm still at this stupid party, I couldn't give you a fucking answer. I'd completely lost track of time since the moment Grape brought her ass here, and it ain't in the cutesy way either....

No. Quite the opposite actually, because time isn't the only thing I'm starting to lose track of.

I dragged my ass here tonight with expectations-and in case you're new here, it doesn't take a genius to figure out I get a little hurt when I don't get my way!

The intent was to get my fix. I wanted her to notice me and fall at my feet. To see that desperate look in her eyes to show she'd never move on.

The sight alone would have been enough to hold me over. Woulda been enough to satisfy my wants and get the hell outta here with that much needed high coursing through my veins.

The 'high' of her stroking my ego was all I needed to find that clarity again. Of course, my version of clarity is still insanity. But, it's an insanity I'm used to. One I experience everyday as the big, bad villain 'Dabi.' Fun, right?

Oh-ho. But, things don't always go as planned, it seems. And-gasp-a plot twist has been throwing into the mix again thanks to this cunt of an author. Wow! If only I could fucking leave this book. Perhaps I'd have more luck paired with that waste of an existence, Hawks!

Anyways, now with Grape not giving me what I want, my usual insanity has slowly started to morph into a new psycho even I'm not familiar with!

Hands sweaty and shaky. Eyes rubbed red with irritation and fogged with the prison of my own thoughts. Mouth dry as fucking cotton and head spinning faster to the point of explosion. Ugly, shitty skin so hot to the touch, my own sweat sizzles atop it. Jaw locked so tightly, I'm surely breaking my back teeth from the force-whatever. All cavities back there, anyways.

But, that's how withdrawals are, after all! That's what happens when you stop fucking around with the shit that's fun. Hugs, not drugs, you stupid, little fucks. Whatever keeps you outta my stash!

Except, this is a different kinda withdrawal, cause it's a different kinda drug.

This one doesn't just fuck with your physical state. With the shell of your mushy brain saying 'you're having a good time, loser!'

Nah. This one's worse. It goes deeper. Too deep. It fucks with your emotions and tickles that shitty, nonexistent thing called a 'soul.' Ew.

The withdrawals aren't physical. They're mental. Bold enough to poke past surface level 'Dabi' shit and penetrate a part of my head I never want touched.

I haven't felt like this in years. Feeling my twisted emotions unraveling so damn quickly and making me unhinged. Actually 'unhinged.' Not the diabolical fake shit that 'Dabi' became known for.

Mmm. I can't help it. It's outta my control, forcing my head deeper into a fog of this new insanity as my ugly feelings slowly try upchucking their way out of that high security prison I've always locked up so well.

Heh. And, as usual, I don't know how to fucking handle it. It's already eating me alive as the dissociative pit of my head slowly becomes too clear. That only makes me more crazy.

Oooo. Careful, Touya! You're always so sensitive. Remember what happened the last time you let your emotions out. The last time you lost control of them! Should we do a repeat of that?