Ordinary - (Dabi x OC)

Know Your Worth

Top pic is supposed to be Akio! I don't know who made the pic

Violet POV:

'Just as friends. Nothing more.'

The faint sound of radio music filled the space of Akio's car. But, all I could hear were Natsuo's earlier words echoing into my head like a distorted symphony.

His smile had been genuine. His words sincere. His heart definitely not capable enough to manipulate and lie about his intentions for wanting to take me to the ball. Much more honorable than someone like Dabi, that's for sure.

And, yet...

I didn't buy any of it. There is no possible way I could imagine going to the dance with Natsuo as 'just a friend.'

Not because I was afraid, and definitely not because I had unresolved feelings for him. But, because, going with Natsuo would feel like such a step back in the wrong direction. It would be like I'm back to being the girl from ten-almost eleven-months ago.

And, while most lines have been confusingly blurred about the type of person I've become, there's one thing I am completely sure of now, when it comes to anything regarding myself...

I don't want to be that person from ten months ago. Ever again.

I didn't like her. Man, she was annoying, wasn't she? Never being able to stick up for herself, or even speak for herself. Sucked into this black hole of an unsatisfying relationship. Having constant anxiety about stepping on everyone's toes. Being a nobody.

...being weak.

Maybe the average person would say I'm being too hard on myself. But, aren't we all our own worst critic? If I wanna hate the person I used to be, I should have every right to do so. I don't need your permission.

See? Even a thought like that is not one I would have been able to formulate ten months ago. I'd usually be apologizing to my own inner conscious by now, worrying I'd just offended her and hurt her feelings-yep, good luck piecing that complex image together...

But, the truth is....I am so tired of apologizing. Even to myself, I am so tired of apologizing.

My entire existence has always been one big apology. Whether it's an apology to my mom for being such a burden. Or, an apology to my ill, dying father on his death bed for not being strong enough to heal him.

...or, an apology to Touya for being the one to ruin his life.

I'm just tired of apologizing. I'm just tired of being, what classifies as, 'me.' I hate that girl. I hate everything about her.

So, it only begs the question-the damn obvious, painful question...

Why the hell did I agree to Natsuo's request? Why did I agree to let him take me to Midas' ball?

Well, I'll tell you why-it's because as much as I talk a big game in the comfort of my mind and tell you how much I've changed, the truth is I probably haven't changed at all.

I simply cracked under the pressure of watching eyes-Natsuo's eyes that looked hopeful and excited for my answer, and tore down all that character development I've been going through.

It's because I'm right back to where I started-stuck on Natsuo's arm like a damn disease, with Dabi hating me.

The bittersweet truth, sure. But, still not easy to swallow the facts.

A small sigh escaped my lips as I rested back against the headrest of the passenger seat, seeing my breath fog up on the snowy window as a solid reminder of my upset.