DESK MATES ✔|SOPE|Yoonseok

46. Afraid

This was uncomfortable.

Namjoon was supposed to have taken one of Yoongi's airpods, and the two of them were supposed to be blasting their ears with hardcore rap music as they rode the train home. That was just the way it was.

But that afternoon, Namjoon didn't want Yoongi's airpod. In fact, it seemed like he didn't even want to look in Yoongi's direction, and it was starting to make his stomach do summersaults. What made it even more confusing was that Namjoon wasn't ignoring him either; the two of them had talked like they usually did about what cartoons they were going to watch all the way to the station. But something was off, and he had absolutely no idea why.

Was he mad? Yoongi couldn't remember the last time Namjoon had been mad at him, probably because it had never actually happened before. He started racking his brain, trying to recall every interaction they'd had over the past few days like a crazy person. But Yoongi had barely even been home the past few days, and the only 'interactions' they'd had were when Yoongi texted him that he wouldn't be coming home each night. If anyone should've been mad, it was Yoongi for having to deal with all of Namjoon's smirk emojis each time.

That couldn't be the reason, right? He knew Namjoon really missed him, but it wasn't like he didn't have his own boyfriend. Yoongi was sure he and Jin had been having their own quality time together while he'd been gone, and he was extremely thankful that he didn't have to be there to experience that like usual.

So then what?

Just then, Yoongi slowly reached over, tapping the back of his silver head. "Joon?"

"Hm?" he quickly turned around, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi studied him carefully, trying to read the expression on his face. It was emptier than usual.

"I'm fine, Yoongs," he said, turning back around to stare down the aisle. Yoongi watched as he crossed his arms tightly over his chest, letting out a deep breath of air. He was now becoming more and more aware of the silence surrounding the two of them, and he had to admit it was painful.

"You don't seem okay," he muttered, looking down at his shoes. He didn't know why, but he had the strangest feeling Namjoon didn't want to be anywhere near him anymore, and it was making him want to sink through the floor. He honestly didn't know what he would do with himself if he'd done something to make his best friend upset.

"Are you... are you mad at me?"

Yoongi nearly choked on his words, hardly believing what he'd just said.

Namjoon was silent for a few moments before he let out a heavy sigh, slowly turning back around to face him like it was exhausting.

"I'm not mad at you, Yoongi, I'm just concerned."

Concerned?

"About what?"

Mad and concerned were two totally different things, but Yoongi's heart still sank when he saw the complete seriousness on Namjoon's face.

"You wanna tell me what the fuck just happened back there, Yoongi?"

Oh no.

It was as if he'd suddenly just been slapped in the face. Namjoon was openly glaring at him now, waiting for him to explain himself, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. His words stung.

But after everything that had happened, he should've known this was coming, he supposed.

"You still don't want him to come to our house, do you?"