DESK MATES ✔|SOPE|Yoonseok

Chapter 25: The alternative

"Sorry you have to sit next to that dickhead," Jin told Yoongi as the four of them sat down for lunch.

"Thanks," he muttered, resting his face in his hand. He was still shaken up from being so close to Hoseok, and the thought of food was only making him sick.

It was no secret that Jin had dated Hoseok in the past as well, although their relationship had never gotten as serious as Yoongi's did. But this fact didn't bother him in the slightest. If anything, it had only allowed them to grow closer as friends. Maybe it was immature, but the two of them could sit and talk for hours about all the little things they hated about Hoseok, and it somehow made Yoongi feel liberated. Jin had been friends with him even longer, so he had all sorts of offensive things to say about him, making Yoongi cry of laughter every time.

"Honestly, the thing I hate about him the most is that he kept me from dating Joonie for so long," Jin sighed, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "I mean, I had this perfect guy staring me straight in the face the whole time, but I was too blind to realize it."

Yoongi watched as Namjoon completely melted over Jin's words. He didn't think he would ever get used to seeing his best friend act so vulnerable over somebody.

"Jin, do you really mean that?" Namjoon asked him, gazing at him with all the love in the world. Jin nodded his head, giving him a warm smile.

Just as their lips were about to touch, Jungkook took one of his carrots and threw it directly in their faces, startling both of them away from each other.

"Go do that somewhere else," he snapped, venom laced in his voice. Yoongi instantly burst into laughter, smiling for the first time since that morning. He was glad there was someone else to take care of these things for him.

Jungkook, however, was still in a very bad mood. He hadn't said a single word since they sat down, but he'd given Namjoon a few deadly glares that pretty much summed up everything he was feeling.

"For the last time, Kookie, I'm sorry!" Namjoon said, trying to get some sort of response out of him, but he just continued to angrily bite into his carrots. Yoongi couldn't help but think he looked like a bunny that had been provoked.

"Maybe forcing him to sit next to his crush wasn't such a good idea," Jin said, picking up the carrot he'd thrown at them and handing it back to him. "Although I must say, Kookie, I think you should take advantage of this opportunity."

Jungkook rolled his eyes, not even bothering to look at the two sitting across from him anymore.

"And I think you should suck-"

"Okay!" Jin clapped his hands together, cutting him off, "Joon, you never told us who you're sitting next to. Anyone interesting?"

"Nah, just that one guy with the blue hair," Namjoon shrugged his shoulders. "Taehyung I think?"

Jin looked at his boyfriend with concern, raising his eyebrows.

"Joon, he was literally in student council with us last year," he said, this causing Namjoon to look at him in confusion. "Do you not remember?"

Namjoon thought about it for a few seconds, looking up at the ceiling, but Jin had already placed his hand over his face and was shaking his head at him. "I worry about him sometimes," he whispered to Yoongi, to which he responded with a look that said, "What can you do?"

~<>~<>~<>~

Jimin was laying in his bed that afternoon, thinking about the same thing that always seemed to dominate his thoughts-- Taehyung.

Sometimes he would fantasize about being in a relationship with him, or what it would be like to hold his hand down the school hallways. He would imagine the feeling of his soft lips on his, not while in bed, but as they watched their favorite movie, or after he walked him home from school. He wanted to hold him close in his arms and just be with him, even if they didn't say a single word to each other. He simply wanted Taehyung.

Jimin wasn't exactly sure when these fantasies had started, but they'd turned into a sort of happy place for him. They were the kind of fantasies he could dream about as he fell asleep, or whenever he was feeling particularly anxious. It was almost as if these fantasies were his medicine.

Only this time, the door to his fantasies was locked, and he couldn't open it. The tears dripping down his cheeks were only evidence that he'd been hit with the cold reality of it all, and now he didn't know if he would ever be able to step inside that perfect world again.

Taehyung didn't love him. He knew it as soon as he'd taken his seat next to Namjoon earlier that day, his whole face lighting up like the sun. He'd never looked at Jimin like that before, not even once, and he didn't think he ever would. Why would he anyways? He was ugly.

He was such an idiot to think dying his hair pink would change anything. He'd only done it because Taehyung seemed to like the color, and he'd foolishly believed that maybe it would change the way Taehyung saw him. But it didn't matter in the slightest; Jimin had already given Taehyung everything he had to offer, including his body, and he still didn't want him. There was nothing more he could do.

Jimin wiped his tears away with his sleeve, throwing himself off his bed and walking himself over to the bathroom. His mind was a complete blur, his feet moving on their very own. He desperately started opening drawers, slamming them closed and opening them back up again.

Scissors, scissors, scissors, scissors.

After nearly emptying out the contents of the entire bathroom counter and throwing them to the floor, he finally came across a pair of thin, silver scissors.

He looked down at them in his hand, his fingers trembling, then back at himself in the mirror.

He was disgusting.

Jimin opened the scissors, taking a section of his hair in his other hand, and slowly started to cut away, watching his pink hair fall from his head and past his shoulders.

It was satisfying.

Just as he was about to cut another section, the phone in his pocket started vibrating. He almost didn't look at it, but ended up deciding to set his scissors down anyways. It was none other than Taehyung, and a call from him this late at night could only mean one thing.

When Jimin had told him he was done with their "more than friendly" hangouts, he'd actually meant it. The two of them hadn't done anything in weeks, and although Jimin hated to admit it, it was driving him insane. He didn't want Taehyung to do those things to him if he couldn't love him, but Jimin was also dying to be touched by him again. It was a longing that was deeper than anything he'd ever felt before, and he thought about it every moment of every day. It was only worse now that so much time had passed.

He looked down at his ringing phone, Taehyung's name on the screen, then saw the light reflecting from the scissors out of the corner of his eye.

Taehyung's touch was better than the alternative, when he became like this.