I Hate You A Little Less Today

Chapter 27

I heard knocking on my door, after a few seconds of silence my father walked in.

He held a plate full of food, "It's 7pm, you need to eat something today"

I couldn't gather enough energy to smile at him, I just said thank you.

Day's had passed since I read Hange's letters. I had been thinking a lot about everything. The past, the present, the future.

I felt myself lost in my own feelings, unable to comprehend the world around me.

How foolish was I.

For a split second...Levi came to mind. He was right. He was right about the dangers of caring for a scout. Him leaving was a warning, a warning of how painful it would be to read about his death through a letter.

For a second I understood him. I understood the mentally that brought him to push me away. But right after I shook my head, and devoid of emotion I came to the conclusion that if he was to die soon, there would be nothing more that I wanted than to spend every single minute he had left trying to make him happy.

For him to have the title of the strongest, believing that I'd be better off without him was unequivocally his biggest show of weakness.

But what could I do now...I couldn't just barge into the Scout Regiment and demand him to love me, could I?

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Today I helped my father out with some papers, he told me he would be on the other side of the city attending to some meetings. I was glad he had some work for me, that way I would be too occupied to think.

I went through papers and papers. By noon I decided to go rest in my room.

I walked in and laid on my bed, my head hanging off the edge of the bed, I let go, as I was upside down the sudden blood circulating into my head made me feel tingly.

Before I laid back up I saw something through the corner of my eye, something under my vanity.

I couldn't figure out what it was since my room was so dimly lit. I slowly got up and walked over to it.

I Kneeled and reached out, I grasped something and then quickly realized what it was.

It was the crumpled up letter that I had thrown a few days ago. This one I hadn't read all the way.

I sat there for a minute, my heart felt empty.

Curiosity struck me. I wasn't sure of what to do, if I should just read about what Hange had to say about Levi, or if I should just throw it away.

I got up and sat on my bed, I started smoothing out the letter. I inhaled and exhaled, I realized that whatever was in that letter couldn't hurt me anymore. I felt numb. Numb enough to read it.

I stood up, looking down on the letter. I decided that before reading it I would go get something to eat. I put on a cardigan on top of my dress and placed the letter in my pocket. I then walked downstairs.

As I walked down I heard some commotion outside. I slightly froze, seeing all of the housekeepers in my house running to the windows. I followed them curiously.

I peaked through one window and saw people outside screaming, running, I was incredibly puzzled. I had no idea what could have been happening.

I ran to the door.

"Ms. Pfeiffer!" I heard one of my housekeepers yell.

I ran outside looking around, trying to figure out what was the matter. As I looked over to where they were running away from, there I saw it.