I Hate You A Little Less Today

Chapter 31

It's been a month.

News of people outside of the walls, had been completely out now. The whole world for us was turned upside down.

My feelings towards the whole situation were incredibly confusing, I just felt hopeless, unhelpful, and extremely lonely.

A whole month. A whole month since Levi came back from that last mission, and he never came to visit me, never came to talk to me.

Hange explained that they were extremely busy, but Hange also sent me three letters, making me wonder why Levi couldn't even do that.

I spent days crying before heading to bed, mourning the loss of Jorgie, my father, Erwin...and now Levi.

Before I knew it, days started to seem all the same, isolated in my own home, even my garden was suffering the consequences of my newfound sadness. I almost didn't realize that one day, while it was raining outside, someone approached.

I was cleaning my kitchen when I heard a knock on the door.

I opened the door, only for my heart to drop to my stomach, it was Levi.

He was soaking wet from the rain. He walked in, neither of us saying a word.

I went to go get a towel, I walked slowly, unable to process the fact that Levi was really just casually here again.

"Here" I said while lending him the towel.

He took it and started patting clothes, almost unwillingly.

"Thank you" He faced down.

"Do you want me to prepare some tea?" I started walking towards the kitchen.

"No" He simply said while now drying his hair.

I turned back, caught off guard.

The tension in the room was unbearable.

"You don't seem happy I'm back" His tone was cold, he sounded just like he did when we first met.

"I am surprised you are" I said with an equally cold tone.

He raised one of his eyebrows, thinking something to himself. I stared at him.

I forgot how beautiful he was, his pretty hair was wet, there was nothing I wanted to do more in this instance than just jump on him and kiss him, but he felt so distant.

"I came to tell you...I don't think I'll be coming too often anymore" His words pierced through my chest.

"That's...that's ok" I responded.

"It's not ok" He scoffed.

There was a pause from me for a second, both of our eyes completely on each other now.

"Why isn't it ok?" My voice got tense.

He just stared at me, he clenched his jaw. I could tell that he was apprehensive.

"I said it's ok. I don't care if I only see you once a year, as long as-"

"Stop" He whispered, his jaw still clenched.

"As long as we are together, I will-"

"Stop!" He yelled.

I froze.

"You need to move on, you need to find someone who can be there for you, not someone who is unable to be with you physically and emotionally, I am not the one for you" He was shaking with anger.

Tears started streaming down my face, "No..."

"You deserve someone else" His words hurt more than anything.

"You said you wouldn't leave again" I cried to him.

"Tch" He turned his face to the side, facing away from me.

"I understand that things are more complicated now but-"

He scrunched his face in anger, his eyes now on me, his gaze felt venomous, "You don't fucking understand Y/n. Don't fucking pretend you do"

"Why wouldn't I be able to understand?" I walked closer to him, facing him head on.

"Someone like you-" He stopped himself.

With tears in my eyes, I let out a chuckle, "Someone like me? There we go..."

He stared at me, his expression going from anger to a stoic one.

"Someone like me huh? Some random rich bitch who has never done a thing for anyone else" I stepped closer to him, until my face was right in front of his.

"I-"

"Some girl who means nothing to your cause..." I harshly pressed my forehead with his, "I mean nothing"

"That's not what I meant" He pushed himself onto me, I felt him getting angry again.

"Falling in love won't help you outside of these walls, you would be fucking stupid if you fell for me" I backed away from him aggressively.

"I'm going to need you to watch your fucking tone with me" He growled.

"Why should I? You came to my house to be disrespectful, take it or get out"

"I didn't come here to get disrespectful" He responded.

"Then why did you come" My voice got softer as my heart shattered already thinking about what he would respond with.

His nose twitched, he thought to himself for a few seconds before delivering his final words.

"To tell you to move on" The room grew quiet. He turned around after a few seconds, I knew this was it.

Before I could think of anything else to say, he was gone. And I was left here, alone.