I Hate You A Little Less Today

Chapter 35

As of now, I only had a few months until Zeke and Eren's plan was to be executed. As the days passed, I realized that my days of normalcy were counted. Every night I lay awake thinking about all the things that could go wrong with the plan and all the people who could die. Was I doing the right thing?

I walked through the streets of Mitras, reminiscing on so many things. Things somehow seemed simpler only a few years ago. Now everything in me was falling apart.

I saw Eren in the distance, looking over one of the canals. I joined him, as he had asked to see me a few days prior via letter.

"Eren..." I looked over at him.

Eren looked tired. So tired.

Once so bright and shiny, his eyes now said a billion words, none of which I could decipher or even beg of him to.

I sometimes thought of how I met him back then, when he was younger and somewhat naive. Eren had always been an outsider, I had always felt bad for him, as I wondered if people were using him just as a weapon.

Ah, titan boy. I just wish he would talk to me more about his life, instead of going through everything alone.

"Y/N, do you feel ready?" He turned to me.

"As ready as I'll ever be...are you?"

He seemed to pause for a second, perhaps nobody had asked him that yet, "I have to be"

I sighed, knowing that everything about to happen was something nobody could ever be ready for.

Before I could respond, he continued, "I asked you to meet me here because I have something important to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Do you really believe in this?" Eren's voice was...different than usual.

I frowned my eyebrows, not understanding what type of answer he was looking for.

He continued, "I mean, all of this, Zeke's plan, the euthanization..."

He seemed to have stopped himself, almost as if his own words frustrated him.

"I..." I kept thinking. I wasn't sure how to answer. "Well...I have to be honest with you, Eren..."

My eyes started tearing up, I was afraid to admit this to him, but I didn't think I was replaceable in the plan, so I felt like telling the truth wouldn't hurt anyone.

"I am doing this for Levi" I looked down in shame.

Eren looked at me, "Captain Levi...?"

"I want to keep him safe, being involved with all of this, is the best I can do" I looked up at him.

Eren seemed to be thinking a lot about what I was saying; he smiled. His smile caught me slightly off guard, as I hadn't seen him smile since he was a kid.

"I knew the Captain was in love with you" He mumbled.

I widened my eyes, "N-no, if -"

"Whenever any of us saw you two together, we knew his mood during training would either be amazing or deadly" Eren chuckled.

I chuckled back, "Pft..."

"Y/n, whatever happens when the plan goes down, take care of him, but don't worry about the outcome" Eren's smile faded.

The outcome? What did these words mean?

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"I mean, don't worry" He patted my shoulder.

Eren had a way of making his expression absolutely impossible to read, I wondered how he was so good at hiding so many parts of himself.

"Can I trust your word?" I asked him

"Y/n..." he turned to me, his face so close to mine.

He continued, "I, like you, am doing the best I can to save those around me, you can trust me to do just that"

I looked into his shinny tired green eyes, looking for any sign of insincerity, but Jeager was being honest. I could tell.

"Alright..." I fought the urge to ask him a billion more questions. For now, what he had said eased my thoughts.

The conversation then became about the plan, and then we both had dinner together.

As soon as we parted ways, his words echoed in my head.

~you can trust me to do that~

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