The Psychology of Love

Chapter 3 Compare

Chapter 3 Compare

Sam is standing on the terrace of his attic apartment at Lietzenseeufer 6 in Berlin Charlottenburg. He is looking at the numerous old trees on the Lietzensee Park.

Even though the Berlin winter is cold and wet, everything seems gray and gloomy, Sam is reassured by the numerous deciduous trees in their old, large and sturdy stature. The weeping willows lined up along the shore blow stoically in the wind.

Cheerful children frolic in the large playground, even in sub-zero temperatures.

Sam remembers how amazed he was during his first years in Germany.

'There is no such thing as wrong weather, there is only wrong clothing,' is the saying among full-blooded parents. Their children should get out into the fresh air and romp around every day. No matter what age.

With a smile on his face, Sam remembers his childhood.

Fixed rules. Fixed standards. Fixed requirements.

An educational culture based on the teachings of Confucius.

Until he was 6 years old, he was treated with great indulgence.
Spoiled. As if he could not guide his mind, his mother showered him with overprotective and affectionate attention. Her baby was not allowed to get sick, to get dirty, to be exposed to any possible danger.

Sam didn't know any different until the age of understanding set in.

By age 7, academic advancement was targeted. Caring took on a different focus. Love was replaced by discipline.

The seriousness of life allowed no free games, no wild romps.

And the weather was whenever wrong.

And so it happened that Sam moved here to this apartment after the 6 semesters in the dormitory, because the sight of the Lietzensee, the trees and the free, happy children on the big playground gave him a feeling of peace.

And in the evenings he likes to walk along the shore and make plans, discuss theses internally, enjoy the atmosphere.

And at some moments he is swinging carefree on the big playground he loves so much.

The smirk on Sam's face widens and ends in a chuckle. He shakes himself and looks at the clock.
The time finally snaps him out of his mental ramblings. It's 8:30 a.m., Monday. His first session is with YU at 10.

YU.

Sam pauses for a moment and nods gravely.

So much more has happened since he saw YU last Tuesday. Sam met the other 11 students during the rest of the week and set up his practice late into the night on the weekend.

He also visited his professor, Dieckmann, his doctoral advisor.

A father since he started at the university as a stranger.

Professor Dieckmann saw a still quite small Taiwanese standing piously on the campus at that time. He had already heard about the brilliant 16-year-old student who had traveled alone to Germany to study psychology. He had been learning German in Taiwan since he was 8 years old. Prepared himself for his studies.
He approached young Sam and took the wide-eyed, inquisitive student right into his heart. Laughing, he put his arm around the shoulder of the tautly standing and politely bowing Sam and invited him in for tea.

For the past eleven years, Sam has privately visited his German father for tea on Friday evenings. No matter how much or little they have to do with each other professionally at the university, the private contact every Friday evening remains as a ritual.