The Psychology of Love

Chapter 21 Negation

Chapter 21   Negation

Sam parks briefly in the second lane on Müllerstraße at the Seestraße subway station and hops into the Turkish takeout restaurant Hambir, a famous chain in Berlin, to bring YU a yellow lentil soup.

He doesn't want to waste any time, and the friendly men behind the counter are busily serving the many passersby eager to grab a delicacy at Hambir.

Sam pays and gets back into his Toyota.

It's 6:37 p.m. and he senses YU's presence approaching.

After finally finding a parking spot on Kameruner Street, he gets out and walks right into his life.

He rings Teng's doorbell and waits.

"Who is it?" chimes YU's voice on the intercom.

Sam's heart does a roll.

"A delivery." he disguises his voice and is rewarded.

Now he runs into the front building's stairwell, bounces past the strollers, darts across the small courtyard, and skips several steps as he climbs to the 3rd floor.

Out of breath and with cold sweat on his forehead, he suddenly comes face to face with YU.

YU.

He stands at his wide-open front door.

YU.

Sam feels himself being overtaken by the feeling of his dream.

He is the 5th year standing in front of YU. In his cellar. In the dark.

He wants to jump into his arms.

Feels the tears of his storm whipping against his trembling eyes.

He takes another deep breath and says in a disguised voice:

"A hot lentil soup for YU Teng."

He holds up the bag of soup and smiles softly.

And reaps nothing.

Nothing.

No smile. No facade. Just nothing.

Sam feels a twinge in his heart.

"YU, please let me come in. Can I please come in? Let me, please.", Sam now asks in a humble, low voice.

YU turns and walks into the kitchen.

The door, still open, stands ready for Sam to enter.

He exhales in relief, takes off his shoes and enters YU's apartment.

Excited. Worried. A little scared.

He enters the kitchen and sees YU sitting at the small table.

He sits in the chair with his black legs pulled up against his black body. His black heels rest on the edge of the chair. His black arms encircle his black lower legs. His light face rests on his black knees.

Sam sees his black turtle in his little house.

His heart breaks at the sight. An intense pain seizes his body. He mirrors YU and decides to be strong. To be there for him.

"Do you know the Turkish lentil soup. It tastes especially good with lemon. And strengthens the body too. You look pale. I'll prepare it for you," Sam says caringly as he twists and turns in the kitchen, unrestrainedly opening all the cupboards and drawers to gather everything he needs.

What he needs to be there for YU.

To hand him a warm bowl of soup.

YU watches Sam rummage through his kitchen. His Adam's apple trembles under the black turtleneck he wears.