The Psychology of Love

Chapter 7 Repression

Chapter 7   Repression

Sam is lying on the couch at his house on Monday night, brooding.

Dinner was delicious. And the sight of an enjoying YU pleased him more than he would admit.

After he had dinner with YU, they took a walk to the campus of the Technical University of Berlin. There Sam showed him the different departments and buildings.

YU's amazed cat eyes amused Sam so much that he felt an increasing urge to add more and more new achievements to his collection of sights for YU to shine at.

After grabbing another coffee from the Math Building cafeteria, the best cafeteria in the University of Technology, Sam walked YU to the bus that would take him all the way to the subway.

That was at 5 p.m.

Since then, Sam has lain on his couch and brooded.

He's still not satisfied that YU didn't let him take the car home.

"That's the way it's supposed to be!" suddenly shouts Sam to his empty apartment.

Of course, he is persuaded by his superego, his social norms. He doesn't wonder what social norms dictate that a student be driven home after spending an afternoon away from any research activities.

And he represses the secret wish that the drive would have allowed him to spend even more time with YU.

Sam shakes his head, picks up his voice recorder, considers for a moment, and puts the device away.

Instead, he picks up his cell phone and calls Professor Dieckmann.

"Sam, what a surprise. How are you?" greets Dieckmann on the phone.

"Hey, sorry to bother you, I hope I didn't wake you up," Sam replies sheepishly.

"I'm not that old to be going to bed at 9:00. I'm curious, though, what brings you to that phone call. Monday evenings usually belong to your books," Dieckmann directs the conversation in a decisive direction.

Sam hesitates.

He is not sure whether he should bother his German father with his superfluous thoughts.

But who else should he tell about his thoughts?

The sudden appearance of YU's smiling face successfully suppresses Sam.

He is no longer the master of his thoughts and Professor Dieckmann will surely help him.

"I can't concentrate on my books today. There are too many things going through my mind," Sam begins.

"I see. What's the first thing that comes into your head right now?", Dieckmann directs Sam inside.

"YU Teng.", Sam answers honestly, "We had the first session today. A very emotional session. His resistance kept him silent for 43 minutes. But he transferred covert emotions to me again. My countertransference was intuitive and let him go deeper. Really a very stirring session.
But it's not the session that is so irritating to me. My experience and behavior after the session irritates me. "

"Describe your experience to me first," Dieckmann's soft voice chimes in.

"YU triggers deep emotions in me. His transmission made me feel a deep pain. And more." says Sam, faltering briefly, "I want to protect him and warm him. I want him to feel good and laugh."

Suddenly, Sam begins to laugh. Laughing, he continues to speak:

"He is also fascinated by the trees here in Berlin. They calm him down, as they do me. And he's also amazed by the landscape management in Germany."