The Psychology of Love

Chapter 50 The Dream

Chapter 50    The Dream

YU enters his apartment and feels the exhaustion of the last sleepless nights and churning happenings roll over him.

He undresses completely while still in the hallway and runs straight into the shower.

The hot water runs over his face and finds its way down his cold body to his feet.

He feels himself warming up and thinks of Sam.

Sam.

Sam is gone.

He feels him inside him as he knows him gone.

Sam is inside him.

After his skin has colored from the hot water and he feels himself washed clean, he gets out of the shower, dries himself off and goes to his room.

For a while he stands still and looks at his Sam Lin table.

Sam is gone.

He knows that.

But he feels him inside him.

Sam is inside him, even when he is gone.

He gets dressed, picks up his bag, and clutches Sam's voice recorder.

His heart beats faster as he feels the hard contours of the device.

Sam.

YU feels him.

His big, warm hands.

His skin.

His scent.

His body.

His smile.

His eyes.

His words.

He feels them.

Sam's love flows through him. Warms him. Strengthens him. Makes him feel like he has finally arrived.

Standing by his side.

Even when he is gone.

Sam is inside him.

And he wants to hear him.

The deep sound of his voice.

The deep ways of his sentences.

The deep feelings he wants to listen to.

YU lies sideways on his bed, covers himself, and holds the voice recorder in front of his face with both hands.

He closes his eyes and sees Sam.

How he lies with him turned toward him.

How he looks at him with his big eyes.

How he forms his soft lips into a breathtaking smile.

How he sees only him.

He feels him.

Feels his breath.

And he sees them embrace each other in the heaven of their love.

They lie in the infinitely colorful flower meadows of their love and embrace each other.

Are each other their water, their food, their air, their warmth.

He feels Sam inside him and is ready to listen to his words.

"My dream in the night from 15 to 16.11.2021:

YU, I stand on my terrace and feel the intensity of my dream raging inside me. I can still taste every feeling clearly. And I wish you were standing by my side right now. [Sam sighs.]