The Psychology of Love

Chapter 25 Superego

Chapter 25    Superego

Sam looks at the clock as he hears the bathroom door open.

Saturday, 2:03 pm.

YU enters the room naked and grins cheekily.

His hair is dripping.

He keeps his pubic area covered with his hands.

The first trains of morality enter the station of his consciousness.

Shame.

He runs to his small dresser and pulls out two pairs of black shorts, pulls one on, walks on over to Sam sitting on the bed, and throws the second pair of shorts at him.

"Now it's your turn. Feel free. I'm not bothering you either," YU chuckles.

Sam smiles.

"First, I'll blow dry your hair. And put on some clothes. It's cold.", Sam replies.

"Yes, Mom, I will.", YU disguises his voice and jumps in the air. His wildly happy laugh echoes around the room. He grabs a pair of pants from the dresser and puts them on with rhythmic dance moves.

"That'll have to do, though," YU defies.

Sam marvels with a grin.

He sees YU's regression and knows that YU has now reached the next stage of development. A stage that for the first time perceives the outside world as a regulating instrument. At the age of 6, the moral agency, the superego, develops. The key to our conscience.

Praise and blame shape the ego and its decisions derived from the conscience.

And Sam knows that through his countertransference he can now reach YU's superego. The superego that was shaped to be destructive by his sadistic mother. Programmed to be auto-aggressive.

YU's conscience is directed only against himself. Destroys him. Waits in him for the threatened punishments.

And if Sam now values and loves the regressed YU, he can form his superego and reach his consciousness.

Sam watches little YU smiling and nods at him approvingly.

YU returns his gaze with bright eyes.

"Well done. Come on, now I'll blow dry your hair.", Sam says, grabbing YU's hand and about to lead him to the bathroom.

YU stops and waits for Sam to turn back around.

"I want a hug.", YU says pouting and with his arms open.

Sam takes him in his arms and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Sure, whenever you want. I'm just worried you'll catch a cold," Sam murmurs affectionately, squeezing YU tightly.

"As long as you hold me, nothing can happen to me," YU whispers, snuggling against Sam's body.

Both of them give their warmth to each other.

For minutes.

Until YU suddenly breaks the closeness and jumps happily into the air. He abruptly turns Sam around, jumps on him from behind and lets himself be carried piggyback.

"Go on, now blow-dry the prince's hair!", YU orders theatrically, slapping Sam on the butt.

A loud roar of laughter erupts from Sam. He can't believe what is happening to him right now. His body bounces from the loud laughter and shakes YU on his back.

YU feels driven and cheers loudly as he rides his wild horse.

Sam's emotions go crazy. The loud laughter relieves him. Frees him. Eases the pain of experiencing YU like this.