The Psychology of Love

Chapter 27 Light

Chapter 27   Light

It is 4:32 p.m.

Sam sees YU standing in his backyard looking up at the sky.

The section of sky given to him. Surrounded by five-storey old buildings in Berlin Wedding. A black slice of sky in the small backyard of YU's apartment.

"It's dark. We can't go to Plötzensee Park again," YU says sadly, "Why can't I get used to the darkness in the German winter?"

"Because it's light somewhere, too. And because it's always light, too. You have to make it bright for yourself. Come, I'll show you the lights of Berlin at night.", Sam answers in his deep voice, takes YU's hand and walks into the stairwell of the front building, past the baby carriages and towards his Toyoto in Kameruner Straße.

And not for a moment does he let go of YU's hand. Not for a moment.

YU is surprised at the closeness.

His familiar feeling irritates him.

He tries to let go of his hand now. The touch makes him feel ashamed.

In vain.

Sam has taken his hand and is holding it.

He is being held by Sam.

Why does he feel like something is on the tip of his tongue?

Thinking about it stresses YU out. He decides to just go with it.

He is being hoodwinked by Sam. Pulled out.

He wants to show him the light.

And he knows he trusts him.

They get into Sam's Toyota and drive off.

"I'm going to show you how colorful and flashy brightness can be. Then we'll leave the tedium and I'll show you the beauty of the night. The two stations are now ahead of us. After that, we'll see," Sam says, looking questioningly at YU.

YU nods with a smile and leans back.

He peers out the window as they drive north down Müllerstraße. The colorful lights of the gastronomic multifolds and the brightly lit lettering of the international grocery stores flicker in the flurry of laughing, talking, walking, living people on the street.
And there's always a car in the second lane.

Sam drives on the far left. The left lane.

He's in the fast lane.

He sees YU looking relaxed from the car. The bright flicker of life outside reflected in his eyes.

And Sam's tense neck muscles relax a little. The emotional storm has left its mark. As if the emotions had been pulled into a vortex and flung away. Sam feels the force of the impact in every cell of his body.

Sam takes a breath. He feels his heart flicker.

The unexpected terrifies him. He fears the next moment. Afraid he won't be able to react properly.

He looks over at YU again and is caught. YU has his eyes on him.

His consciousness is still in puzzles. And he just can't manage to put the right puzzle pieces together.

He's in the car with Sam Lin.

Memories flash in his mind.

How he sits at his Sam Lin table in the heat of summer. How he shakes his head with excitement. How he imagines an old man with a beard sitting across from him. Their conversations intoxicating his mind. At his Sam Lin table.