The Psychology of Love

Chapter 5 Resistance

Chapter 5   Resistance

The tentative knocking reaches Sam immediately. He opens his eyes and takes a deep breath, stands up and walks to the door.

The tingling in his body slowly spreads.

With his hand on the doorbell, he shakes himself briefly and finally opens the door. A friendly smile lines his face as he extends his hand in greeting.

And he catches sight of YU.

YU's heart skips a beat when he sees Sam standing in front of him.

He feels like his blood is escaping from his body. Each increased heartbeat pumps his blood out of his body.

He reaches out his ice cold hand and places it in Sam's warm one.

Bloodless, he feels Sam's warmth rise into his body.

He returns Sam's smile.

"Good morning, YU Teng." chimes Sam's deep voice while still holding YU's cold hand.

YU loses himself in Sam's eyes. He feels unable to answer. His inner restraints don't allow him any excuses. No lifeboat.

The longer Sam's warm hand holds his bloodless hand, the tighter his inner shackles enclose him.

The longer he looks into Sam's eyes, the more his senses leave him.

He feels himself leaving his body. Taking off. Watching this moment from the outside.

Sam looks into YU's eyes and sees his fading strength. As if YU has just seen a ghost.

His eyes tremble slightly, his ice-cold hand lies lifeless in his. He has fallen silent.

Sam decides to catch YU.

"Why don't you come inside? It's especially cold today. Warm yourself up." he says, pulling YU into his practice. Without letting go of his hand, he leads him to the therapy couch. Once there, he puts his other hand on YU's shoulder and gently pushes him down. YU sits down and feels the sudden emptiness in the places where Sam's hands were a moment ago.

He can't think a clear thought. A cold wave of sad feelings overtakes him. He is not willing to use his mind. Just lets himself be swamped. He feels the tears flooding inside him. With all his strength he holds back. Can't believe what's happening to him right now.

"YU, I will record our sessions and the subsequent analyses. The dictaphone is here on the side table. As you can see, I now have a therapy couch. You can lie down now," Sam says calmly, starts the recording and leans back on his chair.

YU looks at the voice recorder, turns his gaze back to Sam, and memorizes the image of Sam Lin in his chair.

A striking face with big, black eyes, full, smiling lips, black hair lying in wisps on his forehead. His blue shirt is tight against his torso. The first two buttons are open, allowing a glimpse of his fair skin. His Adam's apple lies still. YU sees the slow rise and fall of his chest. His strong shoulders hold his muscular arms. The blue tightens on his upper arms and loosens to his forearms. His large, warm hands rest on the arms of the chair.

YU's eyes linger on Sam's hands, finally taking in his black pants and white sneakers.

He returns his gaze to Sam's eyes. They look at each other silently.

Sam sees YU inspecting him and feels the shame rising inside him. As YU's eyes travel down his body, he feels embarrassment.

He lets YU have his way.