The Psychology of Love

Capital 15 Decision

Capital 15    Decision

As Sam walks along Kameruner Straße toward the Seestraße subway station, the cold wind blows in his face.

He enjoys every cold breeze on his burning skin.

He wishes his mind would cool down, too.

A day like this requires close observation.

Otherwise, Sam would let the moments, conversations, gestures, metaphors run through his mind in detail.

Analyzing them. Draw conclusions.

He let himself go on two journeys today.

The first took him back to his childhood. Released pent-up feelings. Made him surrender to grief. Feel it and let it go.

The second led him to his homeland. Into past imprints and impacts. And the journey took them to the present and showed him the future.

And both journeys he did not take alone.

YU.

YU accompanied him.

YU.

Sam's heart tightens as the name of the man in black echoes through his body.

His throat tightens.

YU accompanied him in a form tailored for Sam.

Everything about him fits.

His metaphors make Sam's mind hover over the most wonderful natural phenomena.

And not just his mind.

Sam falters and takes a deep breath.

YU made him get erect twice today.

Twice.

Each trip resulted in a hungry desire in his lap.

Sam shakes his head.

There's a system behind this, isn't there?

There can't be.

There's a reason for it.

A psychological reason why Sam's body is having such a physical reaction.

Sam searches his memory for possible theories on this.

When his mind doesn't come up with any ways, Sam listens within.

His feelings could show him the way.

But Sam only feels empty.

As if he had left his feelings behind on the two journeys.

Left behind.

"I left YU behind." he suddenly says aloud as he stops his march.

The bright lights of Müllerstrasse flutter as colorfully as the loud traffic noise on the central artery in Berlin Wedding.

Sam stands still in the lively movement of the surroundings.

Sam has left YU behind.

YU's expression on his face at the door appears before Sam's eyes.

His heart begins to race.

The panic that made him leave YU now rises from the tips of his feet high into his body.

A sea of ice floods his body.

All warmth escapes and Sam feels himself freeze.

He has left YU behind.