flopped | lippa

Like It Never Happened

"Pippins!" Renee squealed, running into Pippa's dressing room and setting her bag down on the couch. Renee ran over and gave her a tight hug. "I missed you!"

"You too," Pippa chuckled.

"So how are you? How's the morning sickness? Omigosh, you had your ultrasound, didn't you? Tell me all about it! Do you know the gender?" Renee questioned excitedly, squeezing her hand as the two sat down on the couch. "Oh my god- IS IT TWINS? TRIPLETS?"

Pippa said nothing, trying not to look upset. But Renee couldn't be fooled.

"Pip?" 

No response.

"What's wrong?" Renee said after a moment. Pippa turned her head away so her hair was in the way of Renee seeing her solemn expression. 

"Nothing." she muffled.

"That's a lie." Renee huffed. "Look at me, Pip."

Pippa turned back to Renee, now exposing her tear-filled eyes.

"Oh my goodness... what happened?!" Renee asked frantically, wrapping her in a hug. Pippa melted over her shoulder.

"I- I had a m-miscarriage." she sniffed between cries. She heard Renee gasp. 

"Pippa..." she whispered. "That's terrible. I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't be." Pippa inhaled. "It isn't your fault." 

Renee released Pippa from their hug and looked at her sadly as if she were on the verge of tears as well. 

"Does Lin know?" she asked, making sure to lower her voice as Lin was only in the other room.

Pippa shook her head, wiping her tears on her sleeve and collecting herself.

"N-no."

"I think you should tell him hon," Renee suggested.

"I shouldn't. I- I can't. He'd just be angry at me." she whimpered. 

"Aw, no, I doubt that." Renee frowned, handing Pippa a tissue. 

"There's no use in telling him. Not now. I just want everything to be back to normal." she sniffed. Renee nodded in understanding.

Suddenly, the door creaked open. The two turned their heads to see Anthony enter, a sympathetic frown strewn across his face. 

"Hey Pip, uh... how are you holding up?" he asked, realizing now probably wasn't the best time.

"He knows?" Renee asked. Pippa nodded.

"Um, I'm okay I guess." she murmured, tossing her tissue in the trash can.

"Great. Just know if you ever need anything, I'm here for you," Anthony assured her.

"Thanks," Pippa said softly, forcing a smile.

The door opened as well. Lin entered, a concerned look clouding his face when his gaze fell upon Pippa, face still sopping wet with fresh tears. 

"What's going on in here? Pippa?" he asked in confusion, rushing to sit on the other side of her and placing a hand on her shoulder. He thought everything had been worked out. And why was Anthony in here?

"N-nothing," she stated, beginning to cry again. 

"Why is Anthony in here?" Lin interrogated, glaring at and who stood awkwardly on the other side of the room. Nobody said anything. "Hello?" 

She was too overwhelmed. Everyone was questioning her. She just needed to be alone. "Can you all please just leave?" They all looked at her, confused. 

"But-" Anthony started.

"I need to be alone. Please!" She cried.

"Okay, okay." Renee nodded. She grabbed Ant's arm and pulled him out with her.

"Me too?" Lin frowned, after they'd left. 

"Yeah," Pippa whispered. 

"Oh." Lin sighed, standing up. "Okay." He twisted the doorknob to leave.

"I'm sorry." Pippa cried. "For being such a burden. I promise I'll stop being so fucking emotional about everything and-"

"Shh, Pip." Lin interrupted. "You aren't a burden at all. I only care that your ok. If you need some space, I respect that."

"Thank you." 

They exchanged small smiles before Lin finally opened the door and left.

A half an hour later, the cast was in costumes and ready for the show to start, all waiting backstage.

Daveed rushed into the room, peering around frantically.

"Guys, has anyone seen Andrew?" he asked. 

"We can't find him anywhere." Oak added. Everyone turned to look at them, and echo of "no"s and shaking heads filling the space. "Shit. Okay. We saw him when he arrived, but we aren't sure where he is. I'm pretty sure he would've told us if he was gonna just, dip." 

"Well, we're about to start." Lin said. "Shoot him a text and hopefully he turns up?"

Daveed nodded and pulled out his phone. 

They were over a quarter through the show, and Andrew still hadn't turned up. He wasn't replying to anyone's texts. They figured he must've had a family emergency or something of the sort. At this point it was time for "that would be enough", which Pippa was dreading because of her recent medical news.

Her singing was a bit shaky and wavering as she tried to collect herself. When Lin placed his hand on her stomach she felt her heart drop. There was nothing in there. Not anymore. 

At the end of the number when their mics turned off, Lin whispered, "I love you," as he took her hands in his and kissed them.