Her Innocence

CHAPTER 36

If you can't go for the head then go for their limbs, right?

My hands have turned cold, and I can feel my entire body shaking. I can feel my body shake in fear but now I started to feel annoyed and angry at myself cause I don't know what to do. 

Should I inform them? If I did, then they would put back those men in black that I managed to get rid of, or so I thought, but nevertheless, I didn't see a lot of them roaming around our house. Saxton will be worried to the extent that he will send his remaining men here.

Maybe I should keep this to myself and just be cautious of my surroundings. And if I have Alex and the others with me, I'll be fine, right? I looked at my phone and saw that message again. My mind is so rumbled up on what the right thing to do is.

There are still no messages from Saxton. My message remains unseen. And I am silently praying that he is safe. Maybe he is really that busy, and I understand that. but i find myself typing again, should i tell him? Keeping secrets is not good also. 

Are you okay?

Is everything okay, there?

I hope that you're safe and eating fine.

Keep safe.

My fingers hang over the phone keyboard.

I'm fine and safe here and I will take my exam today.

Yes. This is the right thing to do. Not tell him. Not worry him. Until nothing happens to me. Until i'm safe here. Until i protect myself. I'm safe. I don't have to worry.

Please update me. I miss you so much.

A tear dropped on my phone screen. Another. And another drop. Until i can't hold my feelings. I don't know what to feel. I feel hopeless as i am powerless.

You'll be his downfall, cause your weak and dumb.

My cries got loud as i remember Lennon's word. Can i really be? Will i be his downfall?

Tears freely flowed down as i taste the saltiness of it. I clutched my chest as i cry out myself hard. I'm pathetic. 

Cold metal hit my hands and i immediatly touch the necklace that he gave. Just to feel him and get a strength from it.

I can do this. For him. For me. For us.

I just have to hang on like this necklace. And the promises that we've made. I will not remove it as i will not let go of him.

And i promise to keep my promis. I just have to hold on in our love. Trust that we will go through this.

Getting out in the bed and facing the mirror. Red eyes, nose, cheeks or my whole face is red from crying. Saxton will not like me doing this.

I'm not afraid. I'm not scared.

I declared in front of the mirror.

"I'm strong," I said.

Going back to my phone. I read the message again. I'm not afraid, bad man.

Moving quickly to get ready for the exam. I have my bath relaxing. Setting my mind for the exam.

Relax. I do not have to worry.

Picking a cute dusty blue dress and putting a white hairband and perfecting the look with a white sandals too.

I stared at the mirror again. I see the pretty me. More determined compared to earlier. Not scared.  But i think i have to wear shades today.

Putting the louis vuitton shades and getting my stuffs. I went down.