The Spark Between Us

Chapter 17- Secrets

In a panic, I sit up straight in the bed. Why didn't I realize I was in love with him before? You wouldn't let yourself, my conscience whispers, because it's complicated.
Noah's face floats up into the front of my thoughts. A pant of guilt squeezes my chest, he will be so upset and betrayed. As much as I want and it is now clear to me love Asher, I can't hurt Noah. Not like this. As mad as I am at Noah, I also love him still. I obviously can't control myself around Asher, he quite literally consumes my every thought when he is near. Asher and I will just have to keep this between ourselves, at least for now. I scoot towards the edge of the bed, trying to calm my racing thoughts.

Asher is pushed into a sitting position from when I jolted up, looking somewhat confused. He quickly recovers and reverts to his usual smug expression, eyebrow raised "Going somewhere?" He asks laconically.

I turn, keeping my back turned away from him "We probably need to get back, it's getting late."

" Maine, stop avoiding looking at me. Turn around." His voice is gentle, but firm.

I turn around and meet his eyes. He so damn beautiful and my heart swells with love just looking at him. He stares back at me, searching my face for any clue as to what's going on.

Finally, he sighs " Regretting what just happened?"

I throw my arms around him. " No!" I am insane, clearly. He tightens his arms around me.

" What then?" He whispers against my neck. Tingles runs down my spine. I have to put distance between us or I won't be able to think clearly. I will jump him if I don't, I swear.

I gently break free of his embrace and stand up. "Nothing, truly. I just think we should keep things between us for now." I say, not meeting his eyes. That part is true. I am not in anyway ready to admit it him that I am in love with him.

He freezes " Well I certainly didn't plan on making a public service announcement or telling my parents about what is happening between us." His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

" You know that's not what I meant." I say, feeling guilty for asking him to keep whatever is going on between us a secret.

He raises his eyebrow and his trademark smirk is back " Oh, yes I know. I understand, loud and clear. You and I are to be a secret, right?"

I pace back and forth, I can't tell he isn't happy about this "Just for now, I think it is best."

He nods, not saying anything more, and gets up and walks out of the cabin. I hear the boat start from above. I follow him and ask if he needs help, but he just shakes his head no, not looking at me. My heart sinking, I just sit back and let him take us back.

............

Later that night, after we arrived back and made it through what had to be the most awkward family dinner of all time, Clara cornered me for some " girl time". I finally am able to break away from her, once one of her friends showed up. I wander outside looking for Asher, determined to straighten things out with him. I find him sitting down by the shore, his feet in the water. Easing down beside him, we sit in silence for awhile.

Finally just as I open my mouth to speak, he says " Don't." Looking over at him, he is staring straight ahead, not meeting my eyes.
He continues " I understand, you want to keep us a secret, and that's fine, we don't need to talk about it."

I reach over and take his hand " But you don't seem fine with it."

He finally looks right at me " Well the fact that you are clearly embarrassed for you and I to be public knowledge, that should sit well with me? That you are fine being with me in private, but I'm not good enough for people to know?"