Bay of Strangers (Manila Girls #2)

Kabanata 30

Kabanata 30

Friends

It was so shocking for me. The revelations about River's mother is like a far-fetched dream entangled with confusion and betrayal. I told myself that there is in no way I could grasp the reality of this situation... And how devastating and painful the truth is.

For River... For Tita Marith and their family. Naisip ko si Karrie. Hindi man kami close pero pinsan ko pa rin siya. It would be so hard for her.

My nimble fingers held the small fading picture of River, his father-Mariano Gaisano, and Tita Marith. The picture looked dark with minimal lightings, it looked like they are inside a Chinese restaurant or something. Karga-karga ni Tita Marith si River at nakaakbay kay Tita si Mariano. The young Mariano Gaisano looks so much like River. Mahaba lang ang buhok ni River at mas matikas ang katawan.

"Bata pa lang, gwapo na ako..." Bulong ni River sa gilid ko.

Baby River's chinky eyes stand out. Bata pa lang, kitang-kita na ang kapilyuhan. Nakangiti siya aa camera at nakaturo ang isang kamay doon, tila ba gusto niyang abutin.

"You are,"

"Pero iniwan niya pa rin ako."

Napatingin ako sa kanya. His smile faded. Binangga ko ang balikat niya at binigyan siya ng matamis na ngiti. Hindi niya ako matignan, diretso ang tingin niya sa lamesa sa harapan namin kaya tinignan ko muli ang litrato na hawak-hawak ko.

Hindi ko pa naranasang maiwan... Well, not until Atticus died. Pero noon pa, alam kong masakit 'yon.

"All my life I believed Tita Elena is my mother... Hanggang ngayon, nahihirapan pa rin ako na tawagin siyang Tita..." Napailing siya. "She told me it's still okay to call her Mama, but I don't like it..."

Binitawan ko ang litrato at hinarap siya. He looks so lost. I can almost touch his sadness, loneliness, and a huge void in his self. A space that takes up most of his being. Is that why it's so hard to read him? Is that why he's like a mystery to me?

I caressed his cheek, determined to at least feel him... To tell myself that he's real and that no matter how much he seems to be out of this place... He's here... He's my friend and he is never ordinary.

"Alam mo ba... The moment I found out the truth, I just couldn't accept it. It's so hard. It's so painful, Lei. Deserve ko bang pagkaitan ng katotohanan? I was flooded with questions. Bakit ako iniwan ni Mama... Anong problema... Did my father do something that upset her? Ano ba talagang nangyari?"

"Pero noong pumunta ako rito sa pagbabakasakali na makita at makausap siya, hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula. I was so lost... I felt so alone, lonely, and devastated."

My heart hurt while listening to him, but I somehow felt relieved. I know it's wrong to say I'm happy with this situation, but I'm happy he's opeing up to me.

Sometimes I feel like he's the only friend I have in the bay of strangers, yet sometimes I feel that he's just another stranger too... Refusing to open up and break down his walls. That if he didn't deemed you worthy of his trust, you won't get anything from him-aside from the superficial things he can offer. But right now, I know... He is my friend, and I am his.

I want to assure him that he has a safe space with me and that I understand him. Kasi ganoon din siya sa akin.

It was the perfect picture, the perfect representation of how he saved me and I saved him just in time.

"We'll try to talk to her-"

"No..."

I cocked my head to the side and I sighed. "Susubukan natin, River."