Bay of Strangers (Manila Girls #2)

Kabanata 33

CW: Eating disorders.
I am not-nor do I claim to be an expert when it comes to the field of psychology. I've had several classes and subjects that I attended, but my knowledge is limited to what I learned and experienced. But rest assured that I'm always doing my research and I actually have a trusted physician, and dietitian I rely for help and advice to when I'm writing contents like this.

Dito ko lang sasabihin 'to. I have been diagnosed with ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) last 2019, I cannot disclose everything for my privacy, but I thought that it would be nice and helpful to speak up about this. Hindi po naging madali ang paghingi ko ng tulong. Ni hindi ko masabi noon sa family members ko. Luckily, a trusted friend helped me. And I am slowly healing. Sana maramdaman ninyo na hindi kahihiyan ang paghingi ng tulong. Sana rin, magkaroon kayo ng lakas at tiwala sa sarili. Alam ko rin na we have different status, means, and priviliges-but there are free consultation clinics all over the Philippines.

National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline (NCMH-USAP)
0917-899-USAP (8727)
7-7-989-USAP (827)

Philippine Mental Health Association Online Support
PMHA Facebook Messenger
pmhacds@gmail.com
0917-565-2036

Ateneo Bulatao Center for Psychological Services
Provides online counseling and Psychological First Aid

Email: bulataocenter.ls@ateneo.edu
Website: ateneobulataocenter.com

Ps~ Ateneo Bulatao Center offers free consultation, but the treatment and therapy session cost around 2,000 pesos.

If you are experiencing warning signs of certain eating disorders, please if you can-don't hesitate to ask for help; talk to a trusted adult or friend, and schedule a doctor's appointment. If you want, you can contact me anytime. Thank you!

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Kabanata 33

Homesick

"Are you sure you're fine?" Hinagod ni Rush ang likuran ko.

Hinawi ko ang buhok ko at naghilamos. Inabot ni Rush ang buhok ko at tinali iyon. Hindi ako umimik. Ganoon din siya. Ni hindi niya tinanggal ang tingin niya sa akin, pero ako ito at halos takbuhan na siya.

I hate that it's so messy. Although occasionally na lang naman akong sumusuka pagtapos kumain, paminsan-minsan grabe naman talaga ang pagsuka ko na aakalaim mong isusuka ko na pati lamang-loob ko. Hinang-hina ako palagi pagtapos at putlang-putla. Minsan pa nga ay may kasamang dugo ang sinusuka ko. My throat feels sore too most of the times because of it. Hindi ko na nga kailangang gumamit ng kung anong pills para masuka.

I got rid of my diuretics pill a long time ago. Lalo na noong nag overdose si Atticus... Ni hindi ko talaga makuhang lapitan ang kahit anong gamot. Buti na nga lang at tinulungan ako ni Ate Nene noon.

"Lei, we really have to go to the doctor. Let's just see..." Binitawan ni Rush ang buhok ko at hinarap ako sa kanya.

He's always like this when I'm throwing up. Hindi pa rin talaga siya nasasanay. Palagi'y hihikayatin niya akong mag pa check up at tatanggihan ko naman siya palagi.

"I'm fine-"

"Except that you're not."

"You're just like Vanna..." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Naaalala ang dating bestfriend.

Over the years, I haven't seen her. Ni hindi ata umuuwi iyon tuwing bakasyon. I saw some of her IG posts in NYU. Pero that's it. Wala rin akong masyadong balita sa pamilya nila. Ang alam ko lang ay nakipagkasundo sila sa mga Gaisano at Tantoco sa shipping operations sa Maynila. I find it absurd as well, magkalaban ang Delgado at Tantoco sa shipping operations samantalang magkalaban ang Gaisano at Tantoco sa malls nila.