Bay of Strangers (Manila Girls #2)

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18

Girl

"Good night, Lei..." Maven leaned in, whispering.

I lapsed my tongue over my bottom lip and tried to smile.

Nakakapagod.

Nakakapagod maging sobrang observant. Na may mga bagay-bagay akong napapansin at hindi ko na magawang maalis sa isipan ko ang mga iyon. Nakakapagod na kapag may nalaman ako, hindi iyon maalis sa isipan ko kaya bumibigat ang damdamin ko.

Nakakapagod kalabanin ang isipan. I know I said that we should rule over our mind and emotions, but how could we do it when we no longer feel any motivation and we just feel so drain and exhausted?

"Good night, Maven."

Nagtagal ang tingin ni Maven sa akin. He looks like he wanted to say something, but upon seeing my fabricated smile, he shook his head and pressed his lips together.

"See you tomorrow, okay?" He smiled. I nodded and looked away.

Walang gana akong pumasok sa kwarto. I really wanted to talk to someone about what I heard... And about these raging feelings I'm feeling. I'm thoughts are too unruly and rowdy and it's becoming tighter in my already crowded mind. I wanted to talk it out, but I don't want to cause a mess.

Baka kapag sinabi ko pa sa iba ay makalabas iyon at magkagulo pa. Siguro hangga't hindi pa ako sigurado ay wala muna akong pagsasabihan. Kikimkimin ko na muna ang mga narinig ko.

I can tell it to Vanna because she's my best friend but I don't think it's the best thing to do.

I should ask River first about his parents again. Maybe, I can get bits of information. Until I solve this puzzle on my own, I'll remain quiet.

Sinubukan kong matulog kahit na hindi ako pinapatahimik ng isipan ko.

I love silence, and the quiet, and the stillness of the world right in front of my eyes. I also love the feeling of solitude. But right now, it can't help me... The silence turned into a loud screech of unspoke. thoughts that are begging to come out of my lips—a sinner's lips. The silence are too overwhelming that it almost made me deaf. How beautiful it is to associate two comtrasting things, just to prove a point... Just to say that right now, everything is just a mess.

My mind's a mess... The profound feeling in my chest got heavier, like the clouds—when they're giving warning that a harsh, heavy rain is on its way. But my thoughts are a bit crueler. They didn't give any warning, that's why when they poured, it crashes me. It's drowning me.

Pero kagaya ng dati, sasagipin ko muli ang sarili. Kakayanin, at ipagpapatuloy.

"Atticus!"

Mabilis na humarap sa akin ang kapatid. Naka pajama pa ako, kakagaling lang sa kwarto. Tinanghali na ako ng gising dahil nga halos umaga na ako nakatulog.

Ang kapatid ko'y bihis na bihis na.

"Lei," Ngiti niya at nilahad ang dalawang braso sa akin.

Niyakap ko agad siya. Relieved to see him, and to know that he's still here. Akala ko kasi'y nasa Katipunan na agad siya.

"I was just about to leave. Gagawan lang kitang juice."

Pinakita niya ang mga hinuhugasan niyang Kale.

My eyes started to swell with unshed tears. Sa sobrang lala ng mga iniisip ko kagabi at sa bigat ng mga nararamdaman, parang kahit maliliit na bagay ngayon ay iiyakan ko talaga.

"Do you have a test? Or important things to do at school?"

"Yes, Lei. I have to prepare for the mock trial in CDO, remember?" He chuckled.