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- REVIEWER SEMI -
Book cover :: 8/10
Title:: 9/10
Description :: 14/15
Story line :: 18/20
Characters :: 10/10
Dialogue delivery :: 13/15
Grammar & Vocab :: 15/20
Total :: 83/100
Strengths and weakness :: Well first it's a good fanfic. For me its great as I LOVE stalker fanfictions and I LIVE for mental disorder fanfics. So I'm starting the review with the book cover, a important thing needed to gain readers to a book. I say your cover is satisfactory. It matches the story but I have to say that the picture of Jimin you have used is pretty much common these days. I can't blame though, it's one of new hot photoshoots. However it could slowdown the process of attracting readers. You know sometimes we just click on the book just because the cover is hella' pretty. But it's not bad and I didn't notice author's name in the cover. I would advice you to add it as it's needed element in a book cover.
The title, suits the book. Your title "Obsessed!" suits the plot line very much but as a reviewer I would like to advise that just as the picture you used in the cover, this title is pretty much common. I have read a lot of fanfics for almost half an year and I have seen books with that same title more than ten times. It might be a weak point for your book. I suggest you to try to come up with a unique name which suits the story but it's okay as coming up for a book name is a pretty hard job. For me I would usually try to google some synonyms for obsession. There would be very uncommon names you can use for your books.
Description is actually great. It really did increase my curiosity to read your book. But there were few some errors in punctuations in your description. For example you haven't use the dot at the end of sentences in the description. I saw it in two places. Other than that it's a great description, you have done a great job at description.
The story line is great. Even though stalker fanfics are a bit common I know how much some people like me love these mental disorder fanfictions. So I don't think it won't be a problem even though your plot is a bit common, I assure you it is great : ) The characters were good. Jimin and Y/n were really interesting. I really like Jimin in your fanfic but also Namjoon too. You have done a pretty good job in making characters. The dialogue and delivery is good. It went well. I don't have anything to say about it.
About grammar and vocabulary, I have to say there were pretty much visible grammar mistakes. I saw that you have written saying that it was your first time writing a fanfic so it's acceptable. Believe me, I reread my first fanfiction again few months ago and I literally died from the cringe. In your fanfiction I found that there were mistakes with punctuation and some typos mostly. You have forgot to put fullstops/periods at the end of a sentence a lot. "Baby pick up the phone and talked to me." It's should be 'talk' as talked is past tense and it doesn't suit here. "Time drives by as you watching the TV Jimin is still trying to call me but I'm still trying to ignore him" In here you have to use comas and the use of 'you' and 'me' in the same sentence to refer to the same person is a grave mistake. It should have been, "Time drives by as I watch the TV. Jimin is still trying to call me but I'm still trying to ignore him" Or you could easily just put, "Time drives by as I watch the TV. Jimin is still trying to call me and I'm trying to ignore him." See here there were a bit of problems and there were more like these. You can probably make them by re-reading. Well that's all I got to say in here, I hope you won't take my words as offense as I really didn't mean to. Loved your book and I wish you luck on continuing the book and finishing it <33.
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