truth

boys suck

"I hate you!!!! I cant believe I ever thought you might care enough to just want me!" I screamed, trying to get my anger across. This was the final straw.

James, my jerk of a boyfriend, glared at me, before smirking slightly, knowing how to cut me down.

"You knew who I was coming into this! And honestly honey, who told you you were worth anything? Your REPLACEABLE! And you might just wanna remember that." he said, grabbing my arms as he looked into my eyes angrily.

He's drunk, and his royal tramp of an ex just left. He gets... Aggressive, when he drinks. I should have known I wouldn't be anything special. I should never have trusted a guy like this.

"I TRUSTED YOU!!!! Everyone is right. You really are a heartless ass, a true piece of shit." I screamed, jerking myself out of his arms.

Im done trying to be enough for him. Trying to entertain him, while I covered up the bruises. This wasn't what I wanted, or what I deserved.

"You wanna rephrase that, darlin?" he asked through clenched teeth, slaming me against the wall.

My ears rung as I attempted to think through the haze, my eye sight blurry. He smirked at my struggle, assuming he had won. He leanes in for a kiss, but was met, instead, with my harsh screams.

"No, but I'd like to add that if you put another hand on me, your ass will be in a sling!" I retorted, kneeing him hard in the balls.

I tried to run out, attempting to keep my cool. Avoid panic. Avoid tears.

Don't cry, don't cry. Make it out of the house.
I continued to repeat in my head, feeling a hand grasp my arm, pulling me back roughly.

My lungs hurt as I ran from a left hook he thought I'd deserved for saying no. I always said no.

He took so many things away from me... But he would never have me the way he wanted.

My throat burned from screaming, and my eyes burned from fighting him and taking hits. He threw me against that wall hard and my ears were ringing again. Damn I need a cigarette.

As soon as I was on the road, I lit one up. After I'd calmed down, I started working myself up again about where I would go.

I can't believe I left. I have no where to go... Im so screwed.

I met james when my brother was 18, and I was 13. Now im 17, my brother Brett is 23, and so is James. Meaning he thinks he runs the world, feeling entitled to anything (or anyone) he wants.

Brett doesnt know about the abuse, the pain I fought so hard to hide. Or the cheating. The countless nights I spent, trying to remember why I was with this boy.

Brett doesn't know. And he's not gonna find out. He's in the marines, and has been on tour of duty for almost a year.

Speaking of which, I bet he still keeps the key under the porch around back. I can crash there until I find something more permanent.

As I pulled up, I saw the lights on, sending my brain into a spiral of panic, mixed with hope.

Maybe Brett's home!
I mumbled to myself, praying to God it was him, instead of the million other, less enticing possibilities.

I pulled out my pepper spray and walked up the door slowly, grabbing the key before unlocking it slowly. I opened it quietly, being as gentle as possible.

"...Brett?" I whispered, receiving no answer, before I said it louder, hearing a loud thump from the living room, followed by footsteps, rushed.

"Charlie!!!" Brett screamed from behind me, making my headache that much worse. He ran, picking me up and spinning me around, hugging me tightly.