truth

the look he gives me.

After our pedicure, (in which I forced him to get black nails with red tips like my nails,) his mom left us to hang out and walk around town.

As soon as she was gone, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the nearest diner for breakfast, although it was about noon already. (what can I say? It's always breakfast time.)

We both ordered, each wanting the biggest meal on the menu, bacon, sausage, 2 eggs, 2 waffles, toast, hash browns, and ham...
This is why he's perfect, I can eat like a lumber jack in front of him and he'll just smile and match me, bite for bite.

After we ordered, we sat in the booth, laughing as we talked about a few years ago when he had convinced me to stay over and hang out, watching scary movies... We ate a gallon of ice cream, each drank a 1 lieter, stayed up all night, and watched all of the "Saw" movies. He screamed like a little girl (although he denies it completely) and we had an amazing time... Until we got caught and his mom gave us a talk about how she trusted us, not our hormones... Fun, huh?

After that, our overnight trips were when his mom was at a boyfriend or friends house, or if she went on vacation andhe decided to stay home. (mainly because he couldn't have any fun in vegas, being to young.)

Thinking back on those nights, cuddled up on the couch, watching movies or crying or just staying up all night talking and laughing, I wondered how we hadn't done this earlier.

"Why are you staring?" he laughed, snapping me back to reality.
"Spacing off... Sorry." I laughed, smiling at him.
"Ah, I see." he said, stroking his invisible goatee. He had a good beard going, but according to gim "it wasn't the proper length for stroking" not sure what that's supposed to mean, but oh well.

"Well, I'd like to remind you that looking is for free, but kissing's gonna cost ya." he whispered with a wink.

"Well, if I make you wait long enough, you'll cave." I said, feigning a lack of emotion.

"That may be true, but until then you'll suffer. And I'll enjoy knowing it." he smiled mischievously, as he got up.

"I gotta pee." he said casually, as if I wanted to know.
I laughed, smiling at him slightly.
"I hope you know, we are in a public place." I said to him, watching as he stuck his tounge out and left.

I wanted so badly to take off my shoe and throw it at him, hitting him in the back of the head... Just for fun.

In a public place though, a bit to childish... Don't you think, Charlotte?
Talking to myself again... Great.

They delivered our food and drinks while he was gone, and I happily chowed down.

He was only gone a minute or two, but one waffle was already gone, and half of the second was quickly disappearing.

I didn't hear him come up to the table, and when he planned a kiss on my lips, I instantly pulled back, only to kiss him back harder. His kisses got better and better, I swear.

"You taste like waffles." he mumbled into our kiss, making me giggle and ruin the moment.

After we parted, I noticed two girls glaring at us from across the room. One of them being Lila, his ex... Time to have a little fun?
Yes.

"Hey, isn't he cute?!" I said loudly, staring right back with a huge smile.
I knew that would royally piss her off.

She got bright red as people stared at shane and I, while we continued to kiss.

Anger? Jealousy? Either way, she disapproved... Perfect.

Next time, maybe she'll keep her glaring eyes to herself for atleast a few moments.

"Babe, I enjoyed the kiss, not gonna lie, but don't you think that was a bit excessive for this setting?" he asked, refering to our the diner.

"could be worse... I'm sorry, I just don't wanna lose you... You know? And she looks at you like she can't wait to rip off your clothes... And we both know I'm not gonna... Go all the way, so... I just feel like she has more to offer, and I wanted to mark my territory I guess..." I sort of tapered off, feeling so ashamed I couldn't meet his eyes.

I felt him wrap his arms around me, kissing my head hard before talking.

"You should never feel that way... She cheated on me, and even if she hadn't, you beat her by a mile. Having sex doesn't matter. We've been dating for a day. After a while, I'd like to get married, but until then, I'd walk over shattered glass and scream out at the top of my lungs to tell everyone that I'm with you and that you are my best friend and you're beautiful and that you're sweet and that you're perfect for me. So sex doesn't really matter when you give me love. This is what matters, right now is what matters. Okay, baby girl?" he asked softly, but assuringly.

"As long as you call me baby girl more often." I laughed, kissing him hard.

He sat down next to me, kissing my cheek as I took another bite.
He finaly started eating his food, and I couldn't help but laugh at the mess he had all over his face from the syrup. How cute.

I'm so glad I get to keep him!!!

*****************************************
My heart jumped when he saw me.
I finally felt like someone saw every inch of my darness.
Is this what it's supposed to feel like?
I feel like happiness is constantly a step away.
But sometimes, it feels more like I'm already screwed.
Like I've already taken that step, and I tripped and fell down the rabbit hole.
Now I'm lost in his eyes, like being trapped in the dark.
Where do I go from here?
Somehow, I don't want to find my way, and stop being lost.
Because then it's not love...
Love is being lost, and totally content with the fact that you have no control.
So when he looks at me and makes me feel that damn good, how can it possibly be wrong?
Even if it is, somehow I think being wrong and happy is better than right and miserable.
So I've fallen in this pit called love.
And I will never attempt to escape this pit, because I prefer the unknown and scary to the known but damned.
That's just the way it is.
So let's be stupid and wrong together?
Let's just lay down on the bottom of this pit and look up at the stars.
Lets just pretend for a while, that the world is perfect...
Let's just pretend love always works out and hearts never break?
Let's just pretend for a while, that this thing we have will never fail.
Let's just pretend that the look you give me doesn't make me wanna kiss you and hug you and hide you forever.
Let's just pretend this isn't love?