truth

almost goodbye

(Shane)

I can't stop smiling, looking into her beautiful eyes, knowing in a few short hours, everything will change. They will become red and wet with tears, saying goodbye to her big brother.

He's been one of the few positive male figures in my life, and although his leaving is the reason Lottie moved in, I'm incredibly disappointed to say "goodbye."

She's holding it together, avoiding the sad stuff. But we both know that on the inside, she's unsure what will happen in the future, and she's scared as hell.

She's decided to get her G.E.D and take her classes on line to finish her last year, so that she can figure out her... Health stuff, I guess.

"I need to finish getting ready." she mumbled, kissing me quickly.
I pulled her in tighter, moving down her jaw to her neck, giving her love bites as I went.

"I mean it!" she giggled, pushing me gently.
"I know babe, just a few more minutes?" I begged, kissing her again, this time softer.

She smiled, shaking her head before walking away, swaying her hips shamelessly.

"Babe?!" Charlie yelled from upstairs, making me jump.
"Yeah, hun?" I hollered back, making my self smile. She's really mine this time... And I'm never messing that up.

"Where's my makeup?" she said quietly in my ear, nibbling on my neck lightly. She scared the shit out of me, honestly.

"You don't need it, babe. You're perfect." I mumbled into her ear, making her giggle.

"Not for that... For these." she moved her hair, showing me her neck, peppered in purple and red love bites and hickeys. I couldn't help but giggle. It was kinda hot, but I'd never tell her that.

"This isn't funny! I don't want Brett's last memory to be of me covered in slutty hickeys!" she exclaimed loudly, almost yelling.

I felt a little bad for her... I mean, I'm the one who gave her those marks, and she's embarassed of them. I made her self conscious.

"I think all of it is in one of those drawers over there" I mumbled, gesturing towards the breau.

"thanks, babe." she whispered, kissing my cheek before rushing out and trying to finish making herself "presentable."

But she was already so beautiful, she just hated herself in a way I could never understand.

I threw a baseball hat on and grabbed my phone, scrolling through our old texts to make me smile. Not all were sober texts, nor are they all shareable. But damn were they cute.

They were mostly about life, the future, and our dreams. Sounds corny, huh? Well I never got tired of hearing how much she wanted to get married and travel, seeing everything before her time was out... It was romantic, sweet, adorable that she wanted to have a full life.

She really opened up, telling me all of her deepest fears and hopes... And somehow, I was starstruck by it all.
Like I could expect anything less than beautiful dreams from her. She always knew what she didn't deserve. Or more like what she thought she didn't deserve. But really, she deserved everything.
I just prayed I could find a way to give it to her... All of it.

Bzzz... Bzzz...

My phone went off, scaring me out of my thoughts.

"Text from: Brett

Hey bro, could you hurry her ass up? Haha we've been waiting for like ten minutes."

I laughed, smiling to myself. This was the guy who took care of her before me, but I'm here now.

"Text to:Brett

You wanna try and make her hurry? She scares me!"

"Babe!? We gotta go!" I yelled up the stairs, waiting to see if she was still listening at all.

I felt something whiz by my face, followed by her laughing face poking around the corner.

"I missed." she pouted, smiling down at me. She threw her mascara at me! What the hell?

"Why would you wanna hurt my money maker?" I asked sarcasticly, winking, at her.

She ran downstairs, throwing her arms around me and pulling me to the door.

We have a long day ahead of us... Here we go again.