Back For You (Harry Styles)

Part 46

[AN: First of all, I would just like to sincerely apologize for how long it has been taking me to update. I know it's unacceptable and I'm trying to change, but the truth is: this isn't a priority in my life anymore. I have a lot of other things I have to do and I am sorry. I really will try to get the next part up soon, but please be patient with me. On a different note, the picture in this chapter is how I pictured the wedding. The picture from the last chapter was how I pictured the dress, and the picture in the next chapter will be hair, makeup, reception, and the 'after' dress. Leave feedback! Love you.]

Wedding day: March 15th

Lucy's POV:

Everything is going perfectly. I am currently sitting in a high-backed chair with no mirror in front of me, waiting for Eleanor to return with Lou. My dress is already on and once Lou returns to do my hair and makeup, I will be ready to walk down the aisle. It's crazy to think that I will be a married woman in less than an hour. If it were anyone but Harry, I would be halfway back to America by now, but Harry has always had a way of calming me down and assuring me that everything will be okay. I suppose that's why we're getting married. That, and the blatantly obvious fact that I'm hopelessly in love with him.

I am exceedingly nervous to walk outside and see everyone who is sitting in the audience. I don't know anything about what the venue looks like except that it is outside and small. When planning the wedding, I told Eleanor that I didn't want a lot of people to come. Just close friends and family members.

A wave of shock and nostalgia hits me when I realize that none of my family members will be attending my wedding. My throat closes and tears burn in my eyes as I also comprehend that my sister and mother will never know or even see my child; that my child will never see them as long as he or she lives, and neither will I. How have I never realized this before? The two people who were closest to me will never know my own family, and I don't know how I can live with that.

I sob escapes my parted lips and I squeeze my eyes shut tight, refusing to let any tears mark their paths on my cheeks. I hear footsteps growing louder as people near the room I'm in, so I open my eyes and compose myself just in time to see Lou (and Lux), Caroline, Eleanor, Gemma, Sophia, Jess, Lottie, Dani, Sophia, and Anne walk into the room. Lou, Soph, Eleanor, Gemma, Jess, and Dani are all dressed in faded pink beautiful bridesmaid dresses, while Lux is dressed in a cute little white lace number with a sash that matches the bridesmaid dresses. She looks adorable, and it is her that brings a smile to my face despite my somber mood.

"Lux, you look like a princess!" I remark holding my arms out as she giggles and runs toward me. I scoop her up in a hug before placing her on my lap, her small back against my torso.

"Let's go, Mummy!" Lux exclaims, bouncing impatiently on my lap. "I want Uncle Harry to see Aunt Lucy!"

I smile at how she calls me her aunt and kiss the top of her head while Lou smiles at me before running a brush through my hair. There is no mirror in front of me, so I can't see what I look like as she works. This reminds of the VMA's when Lou and Caroline wouldn't let me see myself until they were finished. That was one of the first nights I ever felt confident with myself. It all feels ages away.

I keep my eyes closed for the entirety of the time while Lou gets me ready, only speaking when I'm asked a question. I can't stop thinking about my family.

"Lucy, open your eyes," I hear Lou say, so I do. Caroline is holding a full length mirror, wearing a green dress and a wide grin. I look at my reflection, but hardly even see myself. I am too overwhelmed with thought of the past and fear for the future to even consider the present. However, I force a believable smile and hug Lou while Anne cries, so I hug her too. I then make an excuse about having to use the restroom, and Lou lets me go after warning me not to smudge my makeup. I walk quickly down the halls, struggling to keep my promise regarding the makeup. I know I need to cry, but I can't. I can't do this. I run into an empty room and notice a phone attached to the wall. I frantically pick it up and dial Harry's number, my breathing getting heavier with each ring.