Back For You (Harry Styles)

Part 40

Harry's POV:

"Fuck!" I scream again as the door slams behind me. My breath turns to white clouds as it hits the frigid air. I shouldn't have left her in there, but I couldn't stay. I just couldn't.

"Harry?" A voice says from the dark, making me jump. Zayn emerges from the blackness, a look of concern etched onto his face.

"Hey Zayn," I sigh. "Where are the others? I'm sorry for just leaving like that."

"They all went home," he replies calmly, leaning against the wall next to me. "I think Niall is probably still downstairs, he seemed pretty worried."

"I can't do this, Zayn," I admit, closing my eyes as my head falls back against the wall.

"What's up, mate?" he asks resting a hand on my shoulder.

"What did you hear?" I ask, opening my eyes to meet his kind brown ones.

"Well we sort of heard you yelling at her and then nothing, and then you were yelling again about her not wanting to be touched..." Zayn trails off, glancing away nervously. My insides squirm, longing for her touch. She hasn't been affectionate in what feels like forever.

"She's been hurting and starving herself," I say, my voice turning into sobs as the words leave my mouth. I don't want to believe the words to be true. I never thought they would be, yet here we are.

"And she doesn't love me anymore. She flinches away from me when I try to touch her, and she doesn't look at me like she used to. Now she just looks sad, like she feels bad for leading me on this long. It's exhausting," I spill, tears still flowing relentlessly down my cheeks.

"She loves you, Harry," Zayn says, his tone sure and definite. "She despises herself. That's the only explanation. She doesn't think she's good enough for you, so she's distancing herself from you in the hope that you'll find someone better. And since we all know you'd never do that, she's probably just trying to make herself better for you by starving herself."

"But that's-" I start, outraged although I know he's right. She couldn't just stop loving me.

"Complete rubbish, I know," Zayn cuts me off, nodding. "But it's the reason she pushed you away. Because she loves you too much. And now she's in there all alone, thinking that you don't love her. And while we both know that's ridiculous, she doesn't think so."

Before he's even done talking, I'm throwing open the door, squeezing Zayn's shoulder as I pass. I run through the halls to where I left Lucy.

She's still there, her feeble body curled into a ball, shaking with sobs. I kneel beside her and gently pull her into my lap, stroking her hair and kissing her face. She fights me weakly, but I don't stop, even when she ceases her efforts. I run my hands along her arms, her legs, and her torso. She tenses like she always does when my hands brush over her stomach, but I lean my head down and pepper kisses to the area until she relaxes.

"Harry, don't," she whimpers, trying to cover herself up. "I can't."

"Lucy, I am in love with you," I say, taking her head in my hands. "And I'm sorry, but nothing you do will ever, ever change that. I'm in too deep, you're everything to me and seeing you like this physically pains me. I'm sorry I left just now, I just couldn't bear to see you hurting this much. And I made myself believe it was because you didn't love me, but we both know that's not true. And you know I love you. I know you know."

She shakes her head, my speech having the opposite affect I had hoped.

"Harry, I can't be what you need," she whispers. "I know you love me, but I wish you wouldn't. You're good. Too good, Harry. You deserve someone so much better."