Wrestling the Kraken

Bridgett

Bridgett

Bridgett paced her room thinking about what she had done. The news of the snitch had been disturbing to say the least, springing her back into a world she had hoped to wane from, but that wasn't what was at the forefront of her mind. No, what consumed her reality was the kiss with Lanz last night. It caught her off guard. Something that happened in the moment, unplanned, undisguised.

Her face was petrified as she played it over in her head, fidgeting with the gold ring on her finger. "It's okay. It's all okay." She told herself, while mentally counting how many times the diamond shape on the ring passed around her finger.

The room had been dark with the soft grey of dawn, rolling in through her window, but now the sharper rays of morning were knocking. The dawn was a warning for the shadows to seep away, before the sun came out in full force. Though not all shadows abide. Just as the moon often lingers into the morning's allotted time, so do the shadows within.

She tried to force herself to smile. "It's fine." She told herself and tried to sound cheery. Her body was not fooled. Closing her eyes, she focused on an exhaled breath- the steady release- and ran her fingers through her hair.

It wasn't regret over the kiss that stumbled her. Actually, that kiss was a piece of her she could re-visit and smile at deep down, protected from the voices. What frightened her was the realization attached to the memory, latched onto it like a tentacle hooked onto her leg. It was the sensation vibrating within her... the exposed- every layer of her sins- laid out and bare. Her mind hurried to cover her nakedness, but there was not a sheet large enough. She tried to coil and recede within herself, but there was too much light exposed onto her shadows.

"You'll fail. It will all collapse on you." The voices sprang up, loud and in the forefront. "You always mess up."

Bridgett took a deep breath, looking to the ceiling. "It's not real." She told herself. "Everything's okay." Bringing her gaze back down, she closed her eyes once more and after a few seconds of focusing, grasping for the walls within her, she opened her eyes in front of the mirror. Her mother was standing behind her.

A brief seizure of panic stopped her heart and she blinked with tearful eyes. Hold them back. No tears. Don't show her. When she looked, her mother was gone. Her eyes knew full well there had been nothing there, her mind too, but her body was another story.

A scream bursted inside her head. Bridgett flinched, placing her hands over her ears. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew there wasn't really a scream, though somehow knowing that made it worse.

The scream died down. A snickering laugh echoed within the walls of her mind. She knew she wasn't crazy, but she couldn't understand why this was happening either. She just wanted it to go away. Laying on her bed, she curled into a ball, eyes wide open and waited for the voices to stop. A tear rolled off her cheek.