Wrestling the Kraken

Bridgett

Bridgett

Bridgett woke up to two shadows hovering over her. In slow turns, the dark spots were replaced with the world coming into focus. Her head was pounding.

"Bri?" One of them said.

It had come back to her. The punch, the arguing, the realization that she was a monster. All of it, taunting her right in the face, with each throb. She tried to get up.

"You should lie down. I'll take you to the tent." Lanz said, placing an arm around her.

She flinched at his touch and brushed him away. Her breaths were cut short and her body felt cornered. Invisible walls were sealing her in, nailing down the boards.

"I need to go." She managed to say. Her throat was dry and summoning enough saliva was difficult. She stumbled on her first few steps. Her head was still getting used to the pressure of standing up.

"I'll go with you." Dante offered.

The sound of his voice clawed at her heart. Losing all capability to hold back tears, she broke down, sobbing and shaking into her hands. She was a monster. She was insane. Her skin felt too tight and it disgusted her.

Dante placed a hand on her back, unsure of how he could help. She shuddered at the touch and raised a hand up to keep him back.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to Dante and ran as fast as her wobbling legs would allow.

Dante looked back at Lanz. In that moment, there was no hatred, but each glared with eyes that carried the message: You're to blame.

♦

Bridgett walked trying to think, trying to breathe. She no longer felt suffocated and she was glad to have a moment to herself. All thoughts were empty, a void placed in her mind. Trying to summon the moment she saw Dante and Lily together, she found that the effort was lost somewhere behind a thick wall.

She felt a flip had happened within her, where her consciousness now resided in some deep dark depth, trapped by her subconscious that now had free reign. No thoughts. Just automatic, learned motions, like walking.

She walked, eyes to the pavement, arms crossed. Whistles and shouts were heard in the distance, but the conscious part that took a backseat knew the sounds were close. Horns, shouts, tires, noise.

She was a monster. That's all she knew. That's all she could register. Eight years. She thought she was helping.

He loved Lily.

I'm a monster. It whispered over and over in her head. The only thing she knew. The only fact she could grasp. Her reality faded, gone. Summed into a single phrase. I'm a monster.

For some reason, the conscious part of her in the back, searched for her mother's voice. Searched for the confirmation. There was nothing. No one. She was alone and always had been.

Realizing, somewhere inside her, that she must have walked for hours, she didn't care. Though her body felt the ache and the tiredness, her soul was enjoying the walk. Like the moment when she had left home. That was the day she also met Dante. The day her whole life changed.

"Lady- hey Lady!" A high-pitched voice called out. It was close. Really close. She heard tires. Bridgett looked up for the first time in her walk and her neck was not pleased with the sudden change. A pain seared at the base of her neck, but it was settling. She looked around and saw a young kid on a bike.

"Lady, I don't got all day. You're the one right? You lookin' for the snitch?" The boy asked.

The realization draped over her. "Yes." Her subconscious replied.