Daydream

Chapter Thirty-Seven- Skyler

I pushed the pin into the wall and stepped back to admire the huge agender flag hanging above my bed. Next to it was a pansexual flag and then on the left of it was a non-binary flag. I loved these flags with all my heart and had even changed the paint colors in my room to match the non-binary flag. 

There was a ding from my phone and I sat on my bed. It was from the group chat with me, Riley, Erin, and Ethan. 

Seriously tho, guys, where do you wanna go for the last month of summer? It was from Riley.

Erin and Ethan were obviously already online, because they both started typing mere seconds after she texted. 

We know where you wanna go, Rileyyyy Ethan texted, adding a smiling devil emoji. 😈

I grinned. 

Where? Erin asked, obviously not in on the joke. 

Forever Riley had been afraid of slides. Not so that it could be considered a phobia... but man, she really hated slides. She never even went on the small ones on the kindergarten playground. A couple summers ago we had suggested going to the local waterslides. She had obviously vehemently disagreed. 

NOoooooNOooOO, Riley said, confusing Erin even more. 

Priest Point :D I cheerfully added in. 

NOOOOOOO 

Why can't we go there, do you not want to go on a road trip? Erin asked. 

I was sure Riley was laughing very hard in the house next to me. I wished I could be there to laugh with her. Which killed me even more.

There would be so many times she would laugh without me now. In college, 100 miles away. I think. I really had no idea. 

Sigh I'm afraid of slides lol

I laughed. Riley finally confessed, eh?

Oh, I knew that. Is that the only reason? Erin came back with. 

"Haha!" I was laughing really hard now. My sister came into my room with a non-binary flag.

"My sister is a gremlin!" She said proudly, then yeeted the flag at my face and ran out of the room.

I picked up the small flag, on which had a small wooden pole that had jabbed me in the eye and mumbled "spazz."

I put the flag in my pen cup. I had come out to my family a couple days ago. Kallie was still misgendering me, and my dad wasn't even trying to use the correct pronouns. I wish I could die sometimes because of that. I could go live with Riley until she moves away... and then I could go with Ethan. 

Fine. We can go. That's the text from Riley I saw when I checked my phone again. Everyone was blowing up my phone as I had 50 missed messages from that 10 second period of pain. 

Yessssss Ethan said. I agreed with him but also needed sleep. I had stayed up all night last night researching new genders. I'd stuck with agender because I didn't feel like male or female, so. 

Alright. I'll drive my car and then we can switch off on the road. How long will it take to get there?

I didn't want to be a part of this, so I went back to my sketch. I was drawing something obviously futile. The proportions were off, the colors couldn't blend or look good together, and even the lines- I stopped myself. I was beating myself too hard. 

Ethan had told me that I was too bashful with myself, especially with cutting myself and denying my gender. 

I would have loved to go to to the waterpark in Olympia. But maybe I couldn't.