Behind the skies and lies

Kabanata 37

Or maybe I can just explain when I get back?

Hindi ko rin naman alam kung paano siya i-contact. I wasn't sure about his instagram. He is not active there anymore. Wala na akong naiisip na paraan para makapag usap kami. Mas mataas pa ang tsansa na tumalon ako sa building kaysa hingin ko ang number niya kay Von.

"Dear! I missed you!" salubong sa akin ni Mommy. Oh God. She's really aging backwards!

"Mom! You look five years younger!"

Humagikgik siya at tiningnan si Daddy.

Yeah right. Those women who got treated right will glow to its maximum possible. God, how about me?

"Find the right guy and you will know why!"

"No. Don't find him. He'll find his way to you," pagkontra sakaniya ni Daddy.

Naisip ko si Rad. Will he give me the intensity of love like my father to my mother? It was not perfect, but it was great. Maybe this is what's scaring me this time around. I don't want to commit myself to a relationship, as I'm full of doubt and expectation.

My love might be needy and craves almost perfection.

I grew up with this love. My parents may not always be around, but I can feel their love for me even from miles away. I have witnessed how they loved each other. They have their own world.

And I'm afraid not to have that love because that's the only way I know. That's the definition of love I had while growing up.

"Happy birthday, Mommy." Bati ko sa ina kong halos parang kaedaran ko lang. Baka kung may makakita sa amin ay akalain na kapatid ko lang siya. Daddy looks young too but Mommy is on a different level.

"Aww! This is so pretty, dear!"

We spent two days more exploring the astonishing Barcelona, but it ended too quickly. My parents need to manage our businesses, no matter how stable they are right now. I need to go back since my life is in the Philippines.

"I'm gonna miss you, dear." Yakap sa akin ni Mom at Dad.

"I will miss you two more." Letting go of them every time wasn't easy even though I am used to it. "Have safe travels, Mommy, Daddy."

"We promise to settle in the Philippines sooner, dear. We're sorry for not being hands-on parents."

Umiling ako. "We already talked about this po. Alam niyo naman na ayos lang sa akin. Hindi kayo nagkulang. Just enjoy the world, kay?"

Hindi sila nagsalita ngunit naluluhang niyakap ako.

"We are really sorry, Alyaina. You grew up really well, despite our lack of guidance.."

"My, don't say that. Narating ko kung nasaan ako dahil sa gabay niyo. The distance between us never hinder nor wither our love."

They guided me throughout my young adulthood. They needed to leave me because our businesses were failing during that time. I know it well. I understand them. Now, they made it. They want to soar to the top. Kanino pa ba ako magmamana kung hindi lang din sakanila?

The flight going back to the Philippines is kind of heavy. The short talk with them made my heart ache. I understand, but somehow I crave them too. Pero mas nangingibabaw sa akin ang pagiintindi.

Pinahatid ko sa condo ang mga gamit ko. Gusto ko munang dumaan kay Rad. Ngayon ko palang napagtatanto ang mali ko.

Kung sa akin siguro gawin ito ay walang paglalagyan ang galit ko sakaniya. It was too late for me to realize it. I just need to make bawi, okay?

I read all Rion's texts.

Me:
Rion, you don't have to worry anything. I understand, okay? We're still friends.