Way Back Home

36

The next day, I woke up with puffy eyes. Nakatingin lang ako sa ceiling ng aking kwarto at tulala. Isang oras siguro akong ganoon ang pwesto bago pa ako tumayo para buksan ang pintuan dahil may narinig akong kumakatok.

Mas lalo kong ginulo ang buhok para matabunan ang mukha ko pero hindi ako nagwagi.

"Bakit namumugto na naman 'yang mga mata mo?" tanong ni Auntie habang sinusuyod ang aking mukha.

Peke akong tumawa at sumagot. "Nanood po ako ng palabas kagabi, Auntie."

"Mukhang maganda iyong pinanood mo at naiyak ka."

"Masakit po iyong ginawa nilang linyahan sa palabas."

Hindi rin naman nagtagal iyong usapan namin dahil nagpaalam na siyang magluto ng pagkain. I washed my face after she left and open my phone.

Halos mapuno ang cellphone ko ng mga mensahe galing kay Danes. Inisa isa ko iyon. Hindi ko napigilan ang pagkunot ng aking noo ng makita ang isang litrato na nakita.

It was a job opportunity and I gladly took it with a second thought. I spent my last money on the ticket. I packed my clothes and some important things. So when I was prepared, I told them about my plans. They were both surprised by my sudden decision but knowing my plans and reason tinanggap rin nila. Kahit pa natatakot sila lalo na at buntis ako at malaki na ang tiyan.

Araw na lang ang hinintay ko at makakaalis na ako. I never told anyone about my plan. I just want to disappear. No trace leaving behind. And also told my parents not to tell anyone about it.

But on my last day, an unexpected person contacted me and ask to meet him. I was contemplating but I agreed. I agreed to meet Jeu after years of losing communication.

He visited me at the house in the early morning. Seeing him after so many years, he felt like a stranger to me. From the way he looked and the way, he dressed up. He looked formal but haggard?

He brought a box of the known resto in town with him. Greeted the couple before we started to talk. Or maybe catch up, that was the term he used.

"Life has been so hard these past years so I just disappear like that." Then he sighed. He looked like the most problematic than me.

Life both suck us so badly.

"Heard you got the title. Congrats, Attorney!" I greeted him even if it was years late.

"Ikaw ba? Don't you want the title too?"

"Looking at you right now, naglaho na ang pangarap kong maging abogado!" I started to pull off a joke to fight the dead air.

He shook his head and chuckled. "The work is fine, it's just that, the pressure is the one who killed the dream."

Ibinaling niya ang kanyang tingin sa puno. Nahgbuntonghininga ako at sinundan ang kanyang tingin. "You are brave. Suck life too if he has been sucking you. Be fair."

"I wish I was brave as you." 

Napatingin ako sa kanya nang dahil sa kanyang sinabi. "I was never, but now that I will be having kids, I need to be."

My thought flew together with the wind. I was thinking about carrying both of them in arms. It teared me up a bit.

"What are your plans then, now that you are home?"

Words just slipped out of my mouth like he was bound to know it. I scolded myself in my mind and just decided to tell him about it. After all, I trusted him fully.

"I will go back to the US. Wala rin naman akong mapapala rito." I sighed.

His brows furrowed. "All by yourself?" I nodded. Napatingin siya sa malaki kong tiyan, naguguluhan pa. "What about the father?"