Dawsey: Starting a Family Part 2

Chapter 195

"Is daddy dying too?"

Matt's POV: When I heard Louie say that, I felt my heart break into a million pieces. The way his voice was just so raw when he said that made me feel so bad. Going to walk over to him, I bent down and then took him into my arms. "Hey, bud just take a breath for me and relax okay? It's just a saying. It's not true. Daddy isn't going anywhere." Louie then nodded as he came to hug me. Picking him up in my arms, I just held him close. "You want to stay here with daddy?" Louie then nodded as he held onto me close. Rubbing his back, I just felt so bad for him. Nobody his age should have to worry about this at his age. He has already lost one father...can he really risk loosing another father? What does that mean for my future as a firefighter? I think I'm done.

Going to get in bed with him, I looked at Gabby while holding Louie on my chest. Wrapping my arm around him, I went to kiss his head while rubbing his back. "I'm right here buddy and daddy isn't going anywhere anytime soon...I promise buddy." Gabby then went to get in bed with me and I could tell she was concerned. Not walking to stress her out, I went to grab her hand and then intertwined our fingers. "Hey, I am sorry about that okay? I shouldn't have said that and it was wrong for me to say that." Gabby nodded when I said that. She then came to cuddle up to me and I went to wrap my arm around her back. Putting my hand on her stomach, I just went to kiss her forehead and smiled as I held her close to me. "How are you feeling right now?"

Louie thought I was talking to him when I said that and then rubbed my chest. "I still scared daddy. Please don't leave me." I nodded when he said that before going to kiss his head. "Bud, I am not going anywhere anytime soon. I promise." Kissing his head again, I then went to look at Gabby and sighed while going to rub her stomach. "I think I am done being a firefighter." Gabby then looked at me before sitting up, shocked that I just said that. "Did you really just say that?" I nodded and then smiled at her. "Just lay down, relax...take a breath and let me explain." Gabby nodded and agreed with me as I wrapped my arm around her back. "I know we had this dream but...maybe we can just stop for now. We are going to have 4 kids, I can't take the risk anymore."

Gabby smiled when I said that before kissing my cheek softly. "Is it bad that I secretly hoped you would come to that realization. I get you've seen Hermann do it...5 kids and still being a firefighter but we are different Matt. We have to do it together because that is the only way this is going to work. I think that was one of the hardest parts when we first got married...the shift work. Sure, we were together all the time but...we didn't really have that division during the day. We were either on shift or off-shift. We were always technically 'at work' and 'on-call' in case a major emergency required people off-duty to be called in. I think that was always in the back of our minds when we tried to make plans to do stuff either with friends or just alone."

I nodded when Gabby said that before going to grab her hip. "Gabby, I agree with you when you say that. It's the truth that it was always in the back of our minds. But now, we really need to change that considering we are going to have 4 kids." Gabby smiled when I said that. "I am just glad that you figured it out yourself instead of me having to push you into making that decision. However, I am sure after enough hints...you would've made it here somehow. I am just proud that you came to the decision without me having to make you come to the decision." I laughed when she said that and nodded while going to grab the back of her head, kissing her forehead softly. "God, I love you so much. How is that possible that I am still falling in love with you?"

Gabby laughed when I said that and smiled as she just cuddled up to me more. Going to grab Louie's hand, she rubbed it. "I promise buddy, I am going to make sure that your daddy always comes home safe and sound. If not, he is going to be in a lot of trouble with mommy." Louie smiled when she said that before grabbing my shirt and just holding me close. I then wrapped my arm around him more while going to kiss his head softly. "You still tired buddy?" Louie nodded when I asked him that. "Well, so am I. You tired me out at the park today. How about me and you go downstairs and we can cuddle on the couch? We can spend some guy time down there while mommy gets some rest? I know that's what you really want right now."

Louie then shook his head. "I want to stay here with mommy too." I smiled when he said that and nodded. That's when I went to tickle him a bit to start playing with him. "Daddy, stop!" I then smiled when he said that before going to roll over and lay him down on his back. Gabby then went to put her hand on his ear and smiled as she moved to lay down on her side. "Matt, can he sleep here tonight? I know that's something we don't want but..." I just stopped her and smiled at Louie. "Want to sleep here tonight buddy? You can sleep right here in between mommy and daddy." Louie smiled when I said that and nodded. "Please daddy." I smiled and nodded, going to kiss his forehead softly. "How about you come with me and put your PJs on?"

Gabby smiled when I said that. "When do you want to give him a bath? I think he's due." I then looked at her and smiled at Louie. "How about we give you a bath first okay buddy? Daddy will go get your towel and some new PJs. Then, you can take a bath up here in mommy and daddy's nice bath." Louie nodded and smiled when I said that, obviously really excited to do that. "Just relax with mommy for now and I will get your stuff okay? Or do you want to come with me so I make sure that I have everything you like to sleep with tonight?" Louie smiled at me and then went to get up. Grabbing my hand, he looked at me and smiled as I went to lead him downstairs so that we can get everything he needs to sleep up here tonight.