Dawsey: Starting a Family Part 2

March 30, 2020

The next morning - 6 AM:
Matt's POV: As I stand in the home gym that me and Gabby have here at our new home, I just can't believe what I did to Gabby. (Who by the way, is now 16 weeks pregnant). She may not have said it but, I just knew that my fight with Antonio probably caused her an extreme amount of stress. There was no doubt in my mind that I was at least partially to blame for her miscarriage. So, I decided to come down here and just get all these bad thoughts of of me. Boxing seemed to calm me down because it let me get my frustrations out on something other than Gabby or having to yell at somebody. And right now, it was working because I was in the zone with headphones on and music blaring in my ears. I didn't want to wake up Gabby or Louie because of this but unfortunately, that still happened.

Seeing the lights flash in the gym, I turned to look at the door to see Gabby standing there in her robe. "Hey, go back to bed." Gabby then looked at me and sighed. "How long have you been down here?" I then went to look at the time and sighed. "Maybe 45 minutes." Gabby sighed when I said that. "Matt, what's wrong babe? We promised that we would talk to each other. So please, open up to me even if it's this early in the morning. I am always going to be here for you...I promise." I sighed when she said that before going to walk over to her. Wrapping my arms around her, I went to kiss her softly. "I am beating myself up for causing this. Babe, don't even argue with me...I am at least partially to blame when it comes to why you miscarried."

Gabby sighed when I said that before going to sit on the bench I had in there. Walking over to her, I went to stand close to her and then kissed her softly. "Why, do you not agree?" Gabby then went to rub my arm when I asked her that and shook her head. "Matt, you are just as much a victim in this as I am. You were the baby's father...you are allowed to grieve but please don't blame yourself for having caused this miscarriage because you didn't. You are not to blame Matt so please stop blaming yourself for something you didn't do." I sighed when she said that because as much as she could say that was the case, me believing it was going to be hard. I mean, what type of husband tries to find trouble that I know will get my pregnant wife stressed?

Just looking at her, I kissed her again. "Gabby, you don't understand...I know I am partially to blame because I was the one that got arrested...I was the one who made the mistake and caused you to get stressed so much that you had to go to the hospital and get checked out. So please don't sugar coat this for me babe. If you want to blame me, go right again because I blame myself." Gabby sighed when I said that and I already knew that she wasn't happy I said that. I just hoped that she could understand where I was coming from. Getting up and going to hug me, Gabby just sighed and rubbed my back. "Listen, you need to remember that at the end of the day...I love you and don't want to be going through this with anybody but you." I nodded.

Wrapping my arm around her, I kissed her one last time before whispering to her. "Listen, do you mind if I do this for a bit longer and then I will come back upstairs or would you rather I come upstairs right now?" Gabby then looked at me and went to rub my cheek. "Matt, you do whatever you need to do to make sure that you feel better. You are grieving too. So please babe, don't ask me for permission to grieve your way. Just take the time you need to grieve. Meanwhile, I am going to make myself a snack and move Louie to his bedroom okay? That way, we can take a bit more when you come back to bed. Actually, how about you come upstairs now and you can box later? How does that sound?" I nodded and agreed with her. "That's fair."

I then smiled at her. "5 more minutes okay? I just want to finish and I promise, I will be right up. Can you start the shower? I am not getting in bed all sweaty." Gabby smiled when I said that. "Don't be long okay? I am going to go up and start it now." I nodded when she said that. "And today, I want to bring some stuff to the firehouse okay?" Gabby was confused when I said that. "What do you mean?" I then sighed. "I want to set up the bedroom we have there so we don't have to always bring stuff back and forth. We can set up a little bed for Louie, bring some of our clothes there...I can bring my uniforms there and get changed there and just little things." 

Gabby nodded when I said that. "Aren't you starting in 2 days though?" I sighed when she said that. "I'm actually going in today. I am bringing all 3 shifts in today. I want to do a shift with everybody. They are going to stay for 72 hours. I already e-mailed the commissioner and the union and they cleared it. Severide already knows. And he also knows that I am thinking of changing people onto different shifts. I want to see the team work together and see who works best. However, my Lieutenants are in charge of all scenes." Gabby nodded and agreed with me. "Is that even allowed?" I nodded. "I e-mailed the Commissioner and Union Reps to double check. They all agreed. I just didn't walk about it with Severide because he isn't happy."

That's when I heard my phone ring. "Listen, I have to take this. Can you go talk to Louie and get him up? We leave in an hour. Maybe pack some clothes or are you not coming?" Gabby sighed when I said that. "Yes, I am coming...I promised that. But, you are taking me out on a date after. Also, you are not going to work too hard." I nodded and agreed with her. "I will only do my job." Gabby smiled when I said that, walking over to me before kissing me softly. Walking away, I smiled at her before going to answer my phone. "Chief Casey."

Severide then groaned. "You are kidding right? Are we really doing a 72 hour shift?" I sighed when he said that. "I am thinking of switching people around. I have heard there was people thinking of leaving now that Boden is gone...since I don't plan on being there all shifts...I need to do one. I want to figure out who I can leave in charge when I am not there from the other shifts. Also, since you are the only Squad Lieutenant, I need to figure our which one you can be okay with as your deputies. I know I said I wasn't going to change things but..." Severide just stopped me and understood. "I got it man, we'll be there. You getting extra trucks?"

I agreed. "Yeah. We are parking 3 of each in the garage and driveway. Please just be patient with me and let me do this." Severide agreed. "See you on shift." I then smiled and went to end the call. I then proceeded to make my way upstairs so that I could take a shower and pack up some clothes for my 72 hour shift.